


Make My Voice Brand New

by staygold483



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, Avengers Family, Awkward Peter Parker, Big Brother Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Hurt Peter Parker, Innocent Peter Parker, Nervous Peter Parker, Not An Easy Ride, Peter Parker Feels, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Mess, Plot Twists, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Bucky Barnes, Slow Burn, Smut, Weird Plot Shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2020-07-09 07:42:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19884058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/staygold483/pseuds/staygold483
Summary: (Infinity War, Endgame and Far From Home have not occured because I don't like people dying end of.)A few years after Homecoming, Peter said yes when Tony Stark invited him to live at the compound. He left behind his love life after Liz's Dad tried to kill him (who wouldn't), and focused on trying to impress his mentor and the team. He thinks he's safe from repeating any of those mistakes, until an unexpected visitor crashes into his life. Literally.Peter falls unceremoniously into a plotline that would take his emotions through the worst rollercoaster of his life. Is she worth it?





	1. I'm a Nervous Wreck

Peter Parker was generally a nervous person, he couldn't lie about that. He wasn't a smooth talker like Mr. Stark, he didn't have that leadership effect that Mr Captain America had either, and he certainly didn't have the scary mysterious aura that Miss Widow exuded where you knew you could disappear off the earth without a trace for looking at her wrong. 

No, Peter Parker was the person who dropped things during important meetings, fell over during training, took about five minutes to say a single sentence, jumped at loud noises, and made people laugh when he tried to intimidate them. He had certainly learnt a lot over the last few years as Spiderman, particularly when he accidentally went into space, but he was still a very nervous 20 year old. 

Usually he could say his anxious demeanour was because of his spidey senses, being super sensitive to noise, light, smells, textures...but lately, he knew this wasn't the reason. Lately, he was even more anxious because of _her._

You see, about 3 weeks ago (actually 18 days, 9 hours and 37 mins ago), he was minding his own business, sneakily trying to remove the newest form of the TRAINING WHEELS PROTOCOL his mentor kept sneaking into his suit, when he met her. Or rather, she came crashing through the floor.

Haphazardly adorned with Iron Suit pieces, she stood up, whipping her long black hair out of her eyes and smiled at him. A perfect smile that made her brilliantly brown eyes sparkle under the glare of the sun coming through the window. She dusted some rubble off her shoulders, and he watched her mouth move, but he couldn't hear a thing. From the minute she smiled, his spidey sense spiked from what was usually a low hum, into an overpowering static, buzzing through his body, blocking out any other input. He watched her move towards him, but the buzzing didn't stop until he felt her hand on his shoulder, which for some reason, made him jump. 

"You okay?" He felt his dry eyes blink painfully, and tried to nod. She smiled and took her hand away, so he assumed he must have managed it. "Sorry about all that," she gestured to the mess over her shoulder with her thumb. "Stark has got me analysing thruster capacity before assembling his new suit, and he forgot to tell me he set them to maximum first. Not what you should be doing in an enclosed garage. I'll get someone to come clean it up for you." He was absolutely mesmerised, and probably very creepily staring at her while she spoke. Her voice was enrapturing, sounding like when you pour melted chocolate over some warm brownies: delicious, warm, smooth and silky, as if her voice alone could wrap you up in a hug. 

She kept talking. Turns out that she, Luka, was Mr Stark's assistant, she said for a long time, but Peter would have definitely remembered seeing her around before. With his heart pounding so hard it was hurting his chest, his throat feeling like it was swelling up from anxiety, and his hands gripped around his tools so tight he could feel his skin getting dented with the edges, he thought any attempt to try and converse with this goddess would just go wrong. So he nodded. Every time she paused, he nodded, even if he wasn't taking in her words. He just wanted to hear her speak forever. When she finally left (through the door this time), his lungs pushed out a loud exhale, as if he'd been holding his breath the whole time. He dropped his tools and held his head in his hands, trying to calm himself down. 

Was he anxious because she was a new person? He tried to tell himself yes, but he knew it wasn't true. The fact is, she was gorgeous, and he was very attracted to her. And that terrified him. After the fiasco with Liz, he hadn't wanted to do the whole dating thing, and managed to avoid it since. He only hung out with the Avengers because he knew he'd never end up with any of them (suuuuper big age differences), and yet here he is, in the exact situation he didn't want to be in, falling for someone who's parent could try to kill him. Again. 

He lifted his head. Nope, he wasn't going to do it. He would just not see her again. He won't like her if he doesn't see her, problem solved.

What _actually_ happened, over the next 18 days, 9 hours and 37 minutes, was that he saw her another six times, as if her crashing into his room also broke the floodgates of his perceptive field. She was in Mr Stark's lab when he needed to work on his suit, she was in the garage working on the cars when all he wanted was to get on his motorcycle for some time away from the compound. Then she was even in the common room with the other Avengers when he just wanted to get a drink. The other Avengers all chatted about her as if they'd known her for years, and frankly, he had had enough. 

So now, he was hiding. Can't catch feelings for someone if you hide in your bedroom, can ya? Unless of course, they crash through your floor...

So far that event hadn't been repeated. It had now been 2 days, 4 hours and 12 minutes since he last ran away from her, after seeing her practising punches with Mr Captain America in the gym. He was doing well: lots of push ups, lots of video games, and absolutely none of that 'alone time' his friend Ned told him to partake in. Not that he hadn't done it before, but he knew that once he did, he wouldn't be able to stop himself. And he certainly didn't need to think of her whilst doing that: he was having enough trouble not thinking of her like that as it is. 

While he was redoing an already completed level of Spyro, there was a knock on the door. 

"Busy!" He yelled, smashing his controller to try and make the stupid dragon make a jump that was clearly impossible. 

"Don't care!" He dropped his controller and turned his head slowly to the door. He gulped. 

**That was her voice.**

He jumped to his feet, still staring at the door, his game forgotten. She knocked again, making him flinch, and he started running around. Clothes were grabbed and thrown into the bathroom, crisp wrappers and pizza boxes were launched across the room and landed perfectly in the bin. Maybe a couple of glasses ended up there too. He was frantic, darting all over and trying to remove any indication that he had not left this area in two days. 

"I'm going to just kick the door down." Her voice echoed through the wood. 

"Ugh just," he pulled on his duvet trying to straighten it out. "Give me a second!"

"10, 9, 8..." What was he, a child? He fumbled with the pillows, then stared at the rest of the room, running over to a lone sock by the sofa which looked totally suspicious. Just as he threw it with the other offending articles of clothing in the bathroom, the door swung open.

"Hey!" He hissed, trying to be angry, but let's be honest, the second he saw her arrogantly waltz into his room, angry was the furthest thing he was feeling. "I thought you were going to kick it?" He crossed his arms across his chest, the action making him feel slightly safer for some reason. 

"Didn't want to make a habit of trashing your room every time I'm here, especially when Friday can so easily override the locks." She smirked, closing the door behind her. Then it was silent. In the room, at least. Peter's mind was very much not silent. 

"So..What uhh..What are you wanting?" He frowned at himself. Great, already losing the ability to talk like a normal human. She eyed him, and his arms defensively guarding his chest.

"Whatcha doing?" She asked. 

"Uh..I...umm...well..." He dropped his arms and tried to step forwards, instantly bumping into the coffee table. She held up her hands as if to say 'stop moving', which he did, although he's not really sure why he did.

"The guys have been wondering where you were the last few days, so what have you been doing that was so important you couldn't hang out with us?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. Peter sighed, and kicked the floor awkwardly. 

"Nothing." He finally muttered. 

"So you can come up for lunch?" He stayed quiet. "If you don't, someone is gonna start thinking that you don't like them."

"Who said I liked you?!" She raised an eyebrow. His eyes widened. "Right, no one, because you meant..the figure of speech...because I've been avoiding everyone. Yeah, duh." He coughed, then rolled his shoulders and stood tall, as if he did a bang up job of covering his tracks. "Let's go to lunch." 

She studied him weirdly for a couple of seconds before walking out of his room, hearing his footsteps follow her. She knew he was a weird kid, but that interaction was just bizarre. She felt like she made him nervous for some reason, but she's barely been in the same room as him so what could she have done? 

They walked down the corridor in uncomfortable silence, occasionally looking at each other and half smiling, only to look away awkwardly after. They had almost got to kitchen when Luka tripped.

She yelled as her foot caught on the floor as it changed from carpet to tile, put her hands out ready to brace the impact and closed her eyes, but she didn't crash into the floor. She instead felt two strong arms wrapped around her, and looked up to find herself very close to Peter's face. 

"Uhh...thanks." She said quietly. "You saved me from getting an ugly bust up face."

"Could never be ugly." he whispered before his eyes widened. "I meant-"

"Well well well what's going on here?" The two looked to the door, where none other than Captain America himself was standing, his hands on his belt, with Sam on one side and Clint on the other. Peter's arms suddenly released Luka, who stumbled before finding her balance and standing upright.

"She fell." Peter said bluntly as he pointed to her. Wow, what a weird kid. "I catched - caught! Caught her. So she didn't fall." Steve's left eyebrow raised, and he glanced at Sam. 

"That's very chivalrous of you Peter." He replied, but Luka could detect a hunt of amusement in his voice, like he was teasing the boy. Well, Sam's attempt at stifling his laughs also gave it away.

Peter nodded, his chest puffing out slightly, before he turned and sauntered into the kitchen to get his food. Luka just eyed the men and folded her arms as they approached her. "What was that about?" She hissed at Steve, who just shrugged before answering.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Merely offering gratitide to someone performing a heroic task." Sam sniggered from beside him.

"Care to input something there birdboy?" Sam suddenly straightened up and shook his head. 

"We just," Luka turned her head to Clint as he spoke. "Think it's cute. You two." Clint pointed between her and Peter, who was chugging some juice out of the carton. 

"What do you mean _'you two'_?" Luka quizzed, which made all three men look at each other. 

"Nothing." Sam finally said. "Just, you know, you two people. As individuals. That's all."

"Now why don't I believe you?" She glared at him.

"Are we eating or..." They all turned to look at Peter, who was hovering behind them, clearly uncomfortable at having to interrupt them. "You said it was lunch." He said to Luka. 

"It is," she said as she nodded. "And Sam is cooking!" She smiled back at the man in question, who rolled his eyes before clapping his hands together.

"Well then," Sam said loudly. "Get ready for a feast!"


	2. Out of My Limit

A few days later, she was taking a break from her work, leaving Mr Stark in the lab and choosing to join Clint and Sam in the common area to watch TV and have some food. She had her sweatpants on, a black vest top, her hair tied up messily, and streaks of oil over her arms. Such was the life of an assistant engineer. Luka enjoyed this new phenomena of not eating a sandwich at the same time as welding components or coding new operating systems, a bad habit Mr Stark instilled into her very early on. However, she didn't like how the conversation had turned. 

"You know he likes you right?" She was glaring at Clint, who had asked her the question, her mouth full of sandwich, chewing it very slowly. 

"Who?" She replied, her words muffled from food.

"Spiderboy, obviously."

"Why obviously?"

"He wasn't avoiding us, he was avoiding you. Because he likes you."

"See I thought guys still subscribed to that ludicrous 'treat them mean to keep them keen' ideology." She swallowed her food, looking away from the blonde man. 

"He's a bit young to get away with that." Sam said as he laughed from her other side. "He's a kid, he probably doesn't get why he feels all weird so he just hides." 

"You know this from personal experience birdboy?" She retorted, receiving a rib nudge from him in return. "We barely know each other." 

"That doesn't mean anything." Sam continued. "The other day in the kitchen?"

"What about it?" She asked, rolling her eyes. 

"We walked in on some pretty intense staring m'dear." Clint said, wagging his finger at her. "Felt like something else was gonna happen had we not interrupted." Him and Sam burst out in giggles.

“And what about the fact that he has come up for lunch every day since?” Sam added. 

“Oh you two are so childish.” She muttered. “He's a nervous kid, now he’s socializing, doesn't mean he likes me."

"Guess we will find out." She heard Clint murmur as she bit another piece of her sandwich. She frowned and looked at him, and Clint just nodded his head over to the door. She followed his gesture, and saw Peter himself standing in the doorway. 

He cleared his throat, his hands fidgeting together nervously. 

"Can I join you?" He asked, his nerves evident in his voice. Luka saw Clint's face break out into a smile from the corner of her eyes. 

"Of course! Come and sit right here!" Clint shuffled over on the sofa, leaving a space between him and Luka, and patted the spot. Luka rolled her eyes as Peter sat down, noticing how his body was stiff and tucked in away from her as much as he physically could be. 

"What made you come to visit us today kid?" Sam asked, throwing his arm across the back of the sofa, his hand now very close to Luka's shoulder. 

"I was told it's a social thing to do, come up for lunch, so.." The men nodded, like they approved of his answer. 

"We were just telling Luka here how she needs to take a break." Sam said, randomly. Luka frowned.

"Were we?" She asked him, thoroughly confused. 

"Oh yeah," Sam shifted as he spoke, which meant his arm was now firmly across her shoulders instead of the sofa. Her pulled her in slightly. "Maybe we should go for a dip in the pool?" 

"I'm not wearing a swimming costume." Luka said slowly. She didn't really get why Sam was saying all this. They never went swimming.

"Maybe you don't need one. Nothing we haven't seen before." Sam had leant in close to whisper the last part, but it wasn't a quiet whisper. She heard Clint snort then stifle a laugh, and the next thing she knew, Peter was stood up and walking out of the room. Once he had left, Sam and Clint burst out into a loud laugh. 

"What the hell was that about?!" she exclaimed, looking between the two as they held their bellies, still laughing. 

"He...was...so....jealous!" Sam breathed between his laughs. 

"His face...was awesome..." Clint cackled. Luka breathed in angrily and folded her arms. 

"So, " she said bluntly, turning to Sam as he wiped his eyes. "You flirted with someone 10 years younger than you to hurt a poor kids feelings, just to find out if he fancied me or not?" Clint coughed as he stopped laughing, realising how mad Luka was. 

"I.. uhhh..." Sam had mostly stopped laughing, and was now avoiding Luka's gaze. He cleared his throat. "We have an answer though don't we?" He tried smiling, but quickly wiped it off his face when he saw Luka's glare. 

"Maybe he was just uncomfortable at the thought of a middle aged man hitting on someone who can't even legally drink." She stood after saying that. "And you say he's the kid." She stomped off, not even giving them time to respond. 

She was furious. She saw the guys like her brothers, and for them to do something like that didn't sit right with her. She was always a believer that if something is on your mind, you should just say it, and she thought Sam and Clint were the same. To flirt with her to play on another person's feelings was just petty. She stomped back to the lab, threw herself down at her workstation and loudly started organizing her tools. 

"Problem, pet?" She didn't even look up at Stark, just kept clattering. " I'll start billing you for damages you know." She stopped then, out her hands in her lap and just breathed for a few seconds.

"Men are idiots." She finally muttered.

"Well no shit kid. That's why I keep you away from them." She heard some power tool buzz, then stop. "What men?" Her stomach dropped. 

"Just the guys, being idiots."

"Want me to fire them?" 

"No." She sighed dramatically. "They're just having banter at other people's expense and I was tired of it." She heard nothing, and assumed he was nodding. 

"I'll have a chat with them. Nat wanted you to come up for a movie later but I don't want you to go if you're uneasy about being around them." She thought for a moment, and finally looked up at him. His clothes were the same as hers, a vest top and sweatpants, all sorts of grime on the visible skin, his hair ruffled and stocking in different directions. He was sitting in his chair but facing her completely, his current project entirely forgotten. A wave of love rushed over her. Stark always put her first, above anything and everything. 

"Thanks. I'm a big girl though." He chuckled at her words.

"You'll forever be a little kid to me."

An hour after that conversation, Tony left the lab, and returned not ten minutes later, clapped her on the back and just whispered 'sorted'. She smiled to herself but didn't look up. It wasn't proper under Stark's roof to outwardly show gratitude, so she had observed from him, but she really appreciated it. 

In the evening, when Tony and Luka were making their way to the movie room (after a quick shower), and she felt slightly nervous. Would Peter be there? What would Sam and Clint do? Tony was very...intimidating, if he had to be, and she hoped confiding in him hadn't cost her their relationship.

They entered the room to receive smiles from everyone, except Sam and Clint, who looked very sheepish as they stood and walked over to them. 

"Sorry." Clint mumbled, looking at Tony before he looked at Luka. "It was bad and I'm sorry." She wanted to laugh at this grown man, who was effectively an assassin, kicking his feet and apologising to a 22 year old. 

"Me too. Won't happen again." Sam mimicked Clint's timid demeanor. 

Luka sighed and rolled her eyes.

"It's fiiiine." She said dramatically. Then she smiled. "Come here." She opened her arms and gestured for a hug, which made both the men smile before they attacked her. Her face was smashed into one of their chests as they squeezed her tightly before letting go. 

Then Clint hit her on the shoulder. 

"Don't ever set Stark on us again!" He hissed. 

"Thought I was gonna get dropped through a trapdoor into a pit of snakes or something!" Sam added. Luka just laughed as she followed them to the sofa, dropping into the cushions next to Bucky. 

"Glad to see you sorted it,” Bucky said. “Sam was like a puppy that had been kicked in the face after Stark spoke to him." He looked down at her while she leant on his shoulder. He moved away, put his arm on the back of the sofa and motioned for her to lean back down on his chest. 

Bucky was the one she felt most comfortable with, and she knew he felt the same. But he was still going through some intense therapy, so he just wasn't around as much as the others. Whenever he was though, you can guarantee he'd be around Luka. He was like her best brother out of all the guys.

"Yeah I felt bad about that, but they were being dicks." His chest rumbled under her head as he laughed.

"They're always dicks."

"True, but this was about someone a bit more innocent than me."

"You're not very innocent to start with." She looked up at him, her mouth open in offense, his eyes twinkling with a smile as he raised his eyebrow at her. His voice dropped down to a whisper. "Who snuck in a hot date under Stark's nose and asked me to cover for her?" She closed her mouth and pouted. "Who filled the gym shower hoses with syrup?" 

"Hey, that was both of us! And only because Clint put flour in my bathroom fan!" Bucky laughed and kissed the top of her head. 

"Your idea, I was just the muscle." 

"Like you didn't enjoy it." 

It was at that moment that Peter and Wanda walked in to the room. Luka saw Peter immediately look to her, then to Bucky, and she almost heard his teeth grind. Peter looked away, and sat next to Wanda, on the sofa next to Luka and Bucky, his eyes glancing over to them again as he sat down. Luka shifted, drawing Bucky's attention.

"What is it doll?" She saw Peter's shoulders tense up at Bucky's question, and tapped Bucky on the leg. This was their little code that they would speak quietly in Romanian so that only they could hear each other. They did this a lot, so Bucky automatically tilted his head towards her.

" _Clint and Sam think that Peter likes me_." Her lips barely moved, her Romanian flawless thanks to Bucky’s teaching, and she could barely hear herself, but she knew Bucky could hear. Even with the rest of the group talking loudly about what film they were going to watch.

" _Is that why you were mad at them earlier?_ " She nodded against his chest.

" _But now,_ " she continued, watching the others grabbing various snacks and organising blankets. " _Now they've said that, I can't help thinking..._ " She paused, not really wanting to say what she was thinking.

" _That he does like you?_ " Bucky murmured for her. She stayed silent. Bucky knew what that meant though, and he sighed, hugging her in closer. " _Do you?_ "

She breathed in as she debated her answer. Did she? She felt like she should say no, she didn't know him that well, but that answer wasn’t really sitting right with her. Although, while he was definitely attractive, she couldn't help feeling like he wouldn't be able to keep up with her. He was very timid, and very nervous, and she wasn't. Although, if Clint and Sam were right, was he only like that because of her? 

The loud start of the film interrupted their conversation, which Luka was kind of glad about. When the title was displayed, she groaned. 

"Love Actually? Seriously?" she moaned loudly. 

"What is wrong with Love Actually?" Wanda looked at her, shocked.

"It's ridiculous and unrealistic." Luka pouted, tucking herself in closer to Bucky's side. "No one gets into a relationship like that."

"Not that you would know anyway." Everyone's attention turned to Tony, who was shoving popcorn into his mouth super casually. 

"What?" She asked.

"You aren't allowed to date, so why would you know how to get a relationship?" Tony looked at her, an intense stare in his eyes. Luka swallowed hard, and buried her face further into Bucky's body. The others just looked between them.

"What do you mean she's not allowed to date?" Sam asked Tony, who just shrugged in response. "Is it like, in her contract or something?" He started laughing, but soon stopped after they all saw Tony nod. "Seriously?" Tony swallowed his popcorn.

"I need her with me all the time. Relationships divert attention and become messy which then affect her work. Ergo, not allowed." The room was silent, apart from the movie, playing but forgotten in the background.

"I hope you're getting a bloody good salary." Clint finally spoke in Luka's direction, which broke some of the tension. She gritted her teeth, annoyed. She loved her work, but relationships were always a touchy subject with Stark. Which is why she had Bucky cover her back the rare times she tried to have one. 

he couldn't help but glance over at Peter. He was staring at her, his mouth open slightly, and as soon as she had looked up at him, he snapped his mouth shut and turned to face the TV. He squirmed in his seat, and was chewing his bottom lip, like he was deep in thought. She felt Bucky's fingers brush her shoulder, and she immediately felt comforted. That was the basis of their relationship, comforting each other, which is why Tony never said anything about the two of them. Everyone could see that they just made each other relaxed, and with what Bucky was going through, no one intervened, it clearly wasn't anything more than that. 

She just hoped that _everyone_ knew it wasn't more than that.


	3. He Makes Me Feel

A few days later, Luka was busying herself with her latest project, down in the basement lab, in the late hours of the night, as had become her usual routine.

"Hey doll." She looked up at the low voice and smiled when she saw Bucky walking into the lab.

"Hey yourself, what's up?" She asked. He sighed as he sat down. "Can't sleep?" He shook his head.

"What you working on?" He queried, pointing at the bits in front of her. She looked down at her current project, trying to push it away subtly.

"Something ...for someone." He leaned over to get a closer look, grabbing it out of her hands when he saw her trying to hide it.

"This looks an awful lot like my left hand." She looked away. "What you trying to get it to do?" She rolled her neck, cracking some of her bones, but still didn't look at him.

"Seeing if I can add some pressure sensors." She muttered, slightly embarrassed. Bucky has never asked her to work on his arm, and she didn't know how he would react to her doing it secretly. 

"Pressure sensors huh?" She saw him scratch his chin before placing the hand down. "Like, for feeling stuff?" She nodded. "Hmm."

"I just thought...it would be nice for you to -" She stopped talking when his hand covered hers in her lap. 

"Thank you." she nodded, smiling slightly. She was glad he wasn't upset. Whenever Tony asked Bucky to upgrade his arm, he always got shot down. "I hope you're not doing this instead of other important stuff though." She cleared her throat, then looked at him.

"You didn't come down here to check on my to do list did you?" He smiled.

"Not exactly. Just came to see if you were awake. And...we didn't exactly finish our conversation. About Peter." She sighed, then stood up, brushing his hands off of hers. 

"Not much else to say." She said as she took some tools over to the other workstation. She didn't hear Bucky follow her, but she knew him well enough to know he was behind her, so he didn't make her jump when his voice spoke close to her ear.

"I think Clint and Sam are right." She swiveled round to face him, glaring at his annoying smirk.

"How so?" She folded her arms across her chest. He just kept smiling. "Stop being annoying and tell me then."

"I was in the gym earlier, he came in, looked around, then asked me where you were." Luka raised one eyebrow. 

"Oh yeah, sounds like he's ready to propose." Bucky laughed.

"Hold on doll, he asked for you, and when I said I didn't know, he left." Bucky smiled.

"Is that it? Hardly concrete evidence mate." She pushed past him to return to her original desk and sat down, but was quickly spun round to face Bucky again, his hands on the arms of the chair, effectively caging her to her seat. 

"He was clearly looking for you. Now, back in my day-"

"70 years ago." She pointed out, making him glare at her.

"In _my_ day, if I'm looking for a gal I like, I sure as hell don't stay in the room after I find out she's not there."

"He probably wants to ask me something about his suit. Looking for somebody doesn't mean he likes me."

"It does when he also asks the **only** other person that could work on his suit." Luka paused at that. Stark made Peter's original suit, so it wouldn't make sense for him to ask Tony where she was, if it was about his tech.

"Okay you've got me there." She looked to the side.

"Now, if we are assuming he's done all this is because he does like you - hold on," he said after seeing Luka was about to protest. "You still have to answer a very important question. Do you like him?" She sighed, thinking.

"I don't know." Bucky knelt down in front of her and rested his elbows in the arms of the chair. 

"Do you want to like him?" She stayed quiet, playing with the end of her top. "Come on doll, it's only me. What's holding you back?" 

"I'm not allowed to date." She whispered.

"When has that ever stopped you?" She huffed out some air.

"He's like a puppy, I wouldn't know what to do with him." Bucky laughed loudly.

"Do you not like puppies?"

"Not to date. I tend to go for more..."

"Me?" Luka nodded. It wasn't a secret that she was attracted to Bucky when they first met, he is generally her type - tall, broad, strong, dark hair, _'no prisoner'_ blunt approach to life - but that quickly dwindled once she got to know him. "Look, he's like, half those things already. Remember, puppies grow up." She frowned. 

"I regret calling him that now, it's not a good analogy." Bucky shrugged.

"True though. Not everyone is born with my amazing confidence." He smiled smugly at her. She hit him in the chest, but knew he barely felt it. 

"Arrogance more like."

"Yeah but you love me all the same." She laughed at that, then a cough brought her attention to the door.

"Heyyy. .." Peter was leaning on the doorframe, an expression on his face that looked ...upset? Bucky slapped his hands on his knees and stood up. 

"That's my cue to leave. Come find me later Luka." Bucky said, as he walked towards the door, Peter automatically moving to the side to let him past. "Break a leg Parker." Bucky clapped his hand on the poor kid’s shoulder, who almost flinched at the contact. Once Bucky's figure disappeared round the corner, Luka addressed Peter. 

"What can I do for you Spiderboy?" Luka teased. He feigned offence and put his hand over his heart. 

"You know I'm 20, right? It's Spider-MAN now."

"If you say so." She shrugged, revelling in the genuine frown that he adorned following her comment.

"I was wondering if you were busy, but it looked like you were..."

"And now I'm not." He nodded, then regained some composure.

"Well...in the case that you're not busy...” He cleared his throat. “I was wondering if you wanted to partake in a little relaxation." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

"What does that mean?"

"Well," he brought his hand round from behind his back to reveal a bottle of liqueur. Tony's whiskey judging by the colour of it. "I thought we could see what this tastes like." He smiled widely at her. She stood, folded her arms across her chest and slowly walked over to him. 

"You're not old enough to drink."

"Like I’ve never drank before?!" He snapped back quickly. "It's not like he would mind, he has like 10 other bottles in there." She took the drink from his hand, and looked at it, contemplating the situation. Did she really want to be drinking in the lab after hours with a boy that clearly has some feelings from her?

**You're damn right she wanted to.**


	4. An Invite

She gestured vaguely to a chair next to her workbench and sat back in her own chair, pulling out the stopper in the top. She gave it a sniff.  
Definitely whiskey. She took a sip. It tastes like that Japanese one Tony had been harping on about - _'it's so expensive it doesn't even burn'_ he would babble.  
She held the bottle out to Peter, who took it, then had a sip himself, grimacing as he swallowed it, which made her laugh. 

"You picked a bottle of stuff you don't even like?" She chuckled.

"No one likes the taste of alcohol, they drink it cos it makes them feel good afterwards." He took another big drink them handed the bottle back. As she took a sip, she watched his hands fidgeting together, and suddenly wondered if he was gonna drop the 'I like you' bomb. 

Because let's be honest, an underage kid doesn't bring a bottle of alcohol to someone they don't like at midnight. 

She set the bottle down on the table. Then she started to unzip her hoodie.

"It's warm." She shrugged, as she pulled it from around her shoulders and threw it on the table. She noticed his eyes watching the movement before snapping back up to meet hers again. 

He cleared his throat before speaking. "What have you been doing down here?" 

"Working on something for Bucky.” She said, glancing up to see Peter's face fall in…disappointment? “But that’s a side problem. My main project is looking at new blasters. I don't like the ones Tony has, they're too heavy once you factor in all the other special effects he wants."

"What are you thinking of using?" 

"I found some research suggesting that infusing with nickel and magnesium maintains the durability while reducing the mass, but I'm still testing whether that can actually withstand the blasts themselves. Failing that, we would be looking at a nanotechnology for the rest of the suit." Peter stared at her. Then shook his head.

"I forgot you were smart and stuff." He mumbled.

"Do I not look smart?" She retorted.

"No. Wait! I mean, yes, but I just forget sometimes, that's all."

"Because of what? The fact I'm sitting here building prototype suit arms?"

"Because you're pretty." He mumbled again, but this time his words made him blush.

"And therefore, I have low intelligence levels?" He processed her words, then put his head in his hands.

"Ugh I suck at this!" She held back a laugh, then scooted forwards on her chair and pulled his hands away from his face.

"Yeah, you do. But it's nice to know you think I'm pretty." 

"More than." he breathed, and she couldn't help noticing his eyes flickered away from hers for a moment. Okay, the evidence that he liked her was building up. It's like her talk with Clint and Bucky made her more aware of everything this kid was doing.

And do you know what? She may not completely know how she feels, but fuck if she was going to do nothing about finding it out.

"I have a game." She let go of his hands and pushed herself back on the chair so she could grab the bottle and have another drink. "It's like truth or dare, but it's only questions. So... just truths." She held the bottle out to him. "Ready?" 

He took the bottle, had a drink, then nodded, his jaw tight with tension as he watched her dramatically ponder her first question. Then he jumped in.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" he asked quickly. Luka’s eyebrows twitched in surprise.

"No. Do you?" He shook his head, still studying her. He wanted to ask about what he was continually walking in on, but he didn't know how to word it in a way that wouldn't come out as angry, or desperate, or bitter. 

"Are you...involved in any... dating type stuff ... with ... anyone?" Luka narrowed her eyes and leant forward slightly.

"Why don't you just ask me outright if I'm sleeping with Bucky?" She accused, watching his face turn red as he shifted awkwardly in his chair. He cleared his throat.

"Uhh...are you...dating..." He looked up at her, hoping he didn't have to finish the sentence. The thought of her with him already made his stomach feel tight and shaky, he didn't want to say it out loud as well.

Luka leaned back, watching his reaction to the question he couldn't even speak. 

"No." Peter's shoulders immediately slumped down from relief, like half his anxiety just disappeared with that one word. "He's a bit old for me." Peter laughed as she smiled at him, and he suddenly felt a lot better. Up until her next question that is. 

"Have you ever been kissed?" 

"Yeah!" He said rudely before drinking. "I'm not a nun. I'm also Spiderman. People love me."

"Uh huh, sure." She laughed as she stole the drink from him. "Your turn." He opened his mouth, then closed it. Then narrowed his eyes at her.

"What's your honest opinion about me?"

"I'm gonna get in trouble." She laughed. He shrugged, smiling at her.

"You can always drink." She leant back and mimicked his posture.

"Fine. You're a kid." He frowned, but she continued. "You aren't confident, inexperienced, but you obviously have good skills and morals, otherwise you wouldn't be here. You're attractive, but your nerves hide a lot of that. You're helpful, excitable, loyal, kind of like a puppy really."

"Excuse me?! " he scoffed.

"Not in a bad way, you're just, yeah. A good friend to a lot of people, I can tell." He was silent. Uncomfortably silent. "I can tell that wasn't what you wanted to hear." He raised his eyebrows as if to say _'you think'_ , and she couldn't help feeling bad. "If it helps, Tony wouldn't have asked you to come here if he didn't see potential, you just gotta trust yourself a bit more, be more confident." He shrugged. "My turn. What is the one thing you would change in your suit?" He looked up at her surprised.

"Uhh...nothing, it's perfect."

" There's always improvements to be made. "

"Nope, it's perfect. Do you want to change something?" He asked her, frowning.

"A couple things. That was your question by the way." She winked after saying that, then thought that she should just go for it with her next one. "Do you fancy me?" She watched the colour drain out of his face instantly at her words, only to be replaced with a pink blush. He leaned forward to grab the bottle and drink. "Oh no, you're not getting away with it that easily." She pushed herself forward, pulling the bottle out of his hands and putting it in the table. She turned back to face him and waited. His eyes were looking between hers in a panic, his hands gripping the arms of his chair tight, his breath heavy and loud.

"What do you want me to say?" He finally whispered. She said nothing, and continued to wait, making it clear that she would only accept a proper answer. He swallowed and opened his mouth. "Yes." The word was soft, almost missed in the large room, but she heard it. She fought a smile, keeping her face as blank of emotion as she could.

"Okay." She replied, making him frown. When she didn't say anything else, he spoke up again. 

"What do you mean okay? There's nothing else you want to add to that?" She shook her head and reached for the bottle. His hand stopped hers. "I tell you that I like you and all you have to say is okay?" She nodded, and tried reaching for the bottle again, only to be stopped, again. 

"Would you prefer a thank you?" She said bluntly. This was making him angry now. He breathed to try and keep calm, his hand still holding hers away from the bottle.

"I would prefer if you could either tell me I'm ridiculous or...or..." His anger was failing as he noticed her facial expression wasn't changing.

"Or what?" He thought about asking her whether she liked him. He thought about what she had just said she thought about him. He thought back to all the situations they'd been in. He thought about how she had said he wasn’t confident. Then he thought that he had nothing left to lose.

He leaned forward suddenly, pressing his lips against hers. He felt her body jolt in surprise, and put his hand on the back of her head, and kissed her harder. She had the remnants of whiskey on her lips, and when he'd kissed all that away, she just felt soft and warm. Then she started kissing him back. Her hand that he had stopped from reaching for the bottle moved to his neck as they kissed again and again, her wet tongue slightly touching his lips until he opened his mouth and moved his tongue to meet hers. He moved his head to deepen the kiss even more, feeling her breathing get faster and heavier as the kiss got less soft and innocent, and more like it was leading somewhere. 

She was reacting beautifully to him, her hands moving over his neck, his shoulders, his arms, his hand moving down to her neck, his other hand sliding round her waist. He pulled on her slightly, and the sound of the chair wheels moving and their knees colliding together making them both flinch and pull apart. They stared at each other. Both of their chests were visibly moving, he saw her lips were redder than before, framing her open mouth as she panted heavily. Her hair was slightly disheveled, and he was sure he looked the same. He didn't want it to end.


	5. Drive Me Out My Mind

"Come here." He whispered.

"What?" She breathed, swallowing slightly after she'd said it. He moved the hand from her neck down to her leg, sliding it round and under, and tugged.

"Come. Here." He ordered, waiting until she started to stand before pulling her swiftly into his lap, guiding her legs either side of him. She squeaked at the sudden movement, the chair rolling back slightly, and once she rebalanced, she leant on her knees to hold herself up in the air slightly. Her face was above his, and he looked up at her, moving his hand from her leg back to her neck. The hand that was around her waist moved further to her other hip, so that his arm was completely across her back, and he squeezed slightly to pull her down so she was sitting on his lap.

"What's all this about?" She muttered.

"Kissing you." He leant up, but she leant back.

"I meant...You were always too scared to even touch me before." He smiled slightly and reached up to her neck, placing a slow kiss to her skin.

"Would you rather I stopped?" He breathed as he kissed her neck, and he felt her head move back so he could keep going. 

"I just...don't want...You to feel...like... You don't..." His hand found her head and guided her face down to his, and he kissed her again to stop her from talking. She was an amazing kisser, and he felt his skin prickling with heat as his nerves spiked throughout his body, his hands gripping her head and her waist tight as she rolled her hips closer to him. His mouth shuddered open with a gasp as he felt his blood rushing through his veins down to his crotch, the action stirring a new sensation in him. 

The hand he had on her head floated down, and his arm slid back from around her waist, his fingers finding a place on each of her thighs as their kiss went deeper, hungrier. He could vaguely feel her hands on either side of his face, guiding him to where she wanted his mouth to be somehow closer than it already was over hers. 

When he said he'd kissed people before, he wanted to take that back. He had never been kissed like he was being kissed right now, like he was melting into putty then being electrocuted back into life, with every touch and release Luka's lips were bestowing on him. His arms felt like jelly at the sheer ecstasy, but also felt like lead, unable to move, wanting to just be a thing used by her for her pleasure. 

She hummed as she kissed him again, her hips rocking into him, again, which made his breath catch in his throat, again. He could feel...things...getting harder, and now he didn't know what he was supposed to do. He started trying to work out what the next step of this situation was going to be, that when her hands suddenly slid under his white t shirt, he flinched. She pulled back.

"Are you okay?" She asked, breathless. He just stared at her for a few seconds. 

"Uhh..." Silence fell over them again. "I..."

They both snapped their heads to the doorway as they heard some clattering echoing from the hallway. 

Then they looked back at each other as a very familiar voice started yelling. 

"LUKA! CLEAR A WORKBENCH I’VE GOT AN IDEA!" 

Tony Stark was heading to the lab. 

"Shit shit shit!" Luka hissed, jumping off Peter and smoothing down her hair, while Peter just stared at her, dumbfounded. “Move!” She snapped at him, scaring him into standing up and looking around.

“W-what…”

“Whiskey!” She pointed to the bottle, and he grabbed it, putting it behind the bench, while Luka moved the chairs back to their original positions.

Then the door swung open, and Tony walked in, fiddling with something in his hands. 

“Luka, I figured that if we – Peter?” Tony looked up at the kid, then to Luka, a frown over his face. “What are you doing down here?”

“I just…came to…uh…”

“He came to ask some questions about his suit.” Luka interjected. Peter sighed, thankful for her save. 

“What’s wrong with the suit?” Tony asked slowly, putting his contraption down on the table and folding his arms across his chest. 

“Nothing! Nothing Mr Stark!” Peter squeaked. “I just…was…” He wrang his hands together. “Wanting more web functions?”

“You have 527 web functions, and you want more?” Tony queried, obviously not believing him. 

“Yes?” Tony nodded at his answer. 

“We can look at it. But right now, it’s almost 1am, you should _both_ be in bed.” Luka saw Peter’s eyes widen slightly at that, and bit her lip to stop a laugh from escaping. 

“Right, yes, I’ll…be off. Bye!” Peter’s words were fast as he almost ran out of the room. The air between Luka and Tony was silent and thick after his exit. Luka waited, knowing she was about to get a lecture. 

After about ten seconds with no one speaking, she finally looked up at him. He was glaring at her, his jaw tight. She felt a wave of dread rush over her. 

“Why was he here?” He finally asked her, his voice hard, low, relatively calm. Luka knew better. She could sense there was an underlying anger to his words. 

“He told you…he came to -” 

“That’s bullshit and you know it. I can smell whiskey, and he was more flustered than normal, and don't think that either of your hair looks okay. Now. What. Was. He. Doing. Here.” Luka gulped, and looked down at the floor.

“He came to see me.” She whispered.

“Why?” She shrugged slightly. “I don’t like it.”

“I can tell.”

“No this is where you zip it!” Tony yelled. She closed her mouth instantly as he stepped towards her. “I’m not an idiot. I know how boys his age think.” She rolled her eyes. 

“And you have made it very clear that I am not allowed to partake in any of that.” Luka said. Tony nodded. 

“You’re damn right. Now make it clear to him.” Luka nodded, defeated, as Tony turned around to look at the contraption he brought in and completely forgot about. He put his hands on the edge of the table and just stood there. Luka took that as her cue to leave. 

As she walked down the corridor, she felt her eyes prickling as the rollercoaster of the evening finally caught up to her. 

Her and Peter kissed. They _really_ kissed. It was a good kiss. No, scratch that, it was an amazing kiss. She couldn’t remember feeling that way just from kissing someone, and it had answered her question. 

She liked Peter Parker. 

And she was now forbidden from seeing Peter Parker. 

She closed her bedroom door behind her, leaning back against it, and slid down to the floor, exhaling loudly, feeling more disheartened than ever. 

Peter, on the other hand, was **ecstatic**. He skipped back to his room, a smile plastered on his face so huge that he thought it would split in two. His heart was beating loudly in his chest, but completely differently to how it usually did. He could feel the adrenaline in his body, exhilarating and powering each of his limbs as he wrenched his door open and collapsed on his bed. He breathed in relief, staring at the ceiling, hands in his hair as he relived the evening. 

He had kissed her.

He'd just done it, and it was amazing. He still felt his blood rushing around his body, to certain places, when he remembered her in his lap, hands on his skin, her hips rolling...

He sighed happily. He hadn't known her long, and he didn't know her well, but he knew that didn't matter. He liked her the moment she crashed into his room. She was phenomenal, ripping through any uncertainty he had about never dating anyone again. He wanted to date her, to kiss her again, tell her exactly how much he liked her. 

He bit his lip as he realised that the kiss confirmed was exactly what he was hoping for the last couple of weeks. That she liked him back. 

Then his smile faltered when he remembered Tony's interruption. What would have happened had he not walked in? 

Peter sat up. 

_What **would** have happened had he not walked in?_ He had only ever kissed anyone before, but none of them were like that. It was going somewhere. It was going to mean something. 

Peter started to sweat. 

What if Luka just wanted to have sex with him? He didn't know about...any of ... _that._ He'd watched videos, sure, who hasn't, but doing that stuff with someone else was foreign to him. And if that's all she wanted to do ...

No, he couldn't think like that. But he did need advice. Ned was more clueless than him, so he couldn't ask him anything. He couldn't well ask Mr Stark after seeing how angry he was after interrupting them. Sam and Clint would just make fun of him like they usually did. 

He thought of another person. Another person in the compound that terrified him, but knew Luka well. They wouldn't have a reason to make fun of him, and they wouldn't tell Mr Stark. 

It was decided – tomorrow he would go and ask Mr Barnes for advice.


	6. Priceless Advice

What actually happened for the next 4 days, was that Peter tried _really_ hard to ask Mr Barnes, and then every time he saw him, he panicked and ran back to his room. 

Mr Barnes was a **big** guy. 

He’d also texted Ned, and MJ, who unanimously told him to keep trying and stop being a twat (in that order), but every-time he saw Bucky’s face, he remembered how he could easily squash him like a bug and he didn’t wanna piss the guy off. 

So here he was, four days after he and Luka had kissed, with no real knowledge of what to do next. He hadn’t seen her, or heard from her, and he wondered if she was going through the same as he was. 

Who was he kidding? Of course she wasn’t. She isn’t the type of person to stress about a stupid kiss, to spend days overthinking it, and she _definitely_ wasn’t the type of person that would be agonizing over asking someone for advice. 

On the evening of the fourth day, after MJ’s tenth text that simply said _’Suck it up_ , he was laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, pondering how his life had reached this point. 

He was fucking Spiderman. He should be able to kiss someone and not have the rest of his life grind to a halt. Liz and her dad had really done a number on him. 

He picked up his phone.

Then flung it back down on to the bed. 

_Thump._

“FRIDAY?” He asked the empty air. 

“Yes, Peter?” Came the smooth, barely robotic voice of the compound. 

“Where is Mr Barnes?” He asked, chewing his lip. He figured FRIDAY would be sick of him asking this question five times a day, but if he didn’t keep asking, he would never find out if he was ready to speak to him. 

“Mr Barnes is in his bedroom, but he is awake.” Came the reply. Peter frowned. Why was that important? He turned to look at the clock on the wall. 

Oh, it was 3am. 

He ran his hands over his face, breathing in deeply. 

3am meant there was less chance of people interrupting. 

3am meant if he got uncomfortable, he could run away and claim he was tired. 

3am meant he wouldn’t run into anyone in the hallway. 

Peter sat up. 

“I’m gonna do it.”

Ten seconds later, he found himself outside Bucky’s door. Staring at it. He raised his fist. And stared a bit more. 

“Come on Peter.” He muttered to himself. “He’s just a guy. You’re freaking Spiderman.” He nodded as he pep-talked himself.

He knocked three times on the door, his feet shifting as he waited. There was silence. He knocked again, another three times. Maybe they were asleep? Then again, they don't really sleep that well. Maybe he was out training? He’d recently become aware that Bucky went in and out at all weird hours for runs and-

Peter squeaked as he was pulled out of his thoughts to the sound of the door opening. They stood in the other side, glaring down at him, wearing sweatpants, arms folded across their chest making Peter realise just how muscly and strong they were. His eyes automatically shifted to the left shoulder. It could snap his spine in two, easily. 

Peter gulped.

"Yeah?" They said, their voice deep and intimidating. 

"I...i'm sorry, about...i -interrupting...sir...I was a w-wondering if... "

"Don't call me sir." Peter blushed and nodded, out of fear and embarrassment more than anything.

"Sorry..."

"Is this about Luka?" Peter nodded again, and they stepped to the side gesturing to the room.

"Th-thanks...Mr Barnes." He said nothing, but rolled his eyes and turned and walked into their room, leaving the door open. Peter stepped into the room, and closed the door behind him, but didn't move any further. He watched Bucky sit on the bed, lying back, one leg out stretched and one foot up so his knee was bent. He threw his arms behind their head and stared at the boy. 

"What do you want?" Bucky asked after a few seconds of silence.

"I...wanted some advice." Peter muttered, looking down at his hands and fiddling with his fingertips. 

"There are plenty of other people that can help you."

"They don't know her like you do." Bucky smiled slightly. 

"That's true." He scratched his chin. "What do you want to know?"

"Umm..." Why was this so hard?! Just ask him, Peter, all he could do is kill you, it's no big deal. "I...I..."

“Come on, you’ve been trying to ask me something for days, just spit it out.” Peter's eyes snapped up to Bucky's and widened. “You do realise FRIDAY tells me every-time someone asks anything about me? It was part of the deal with Stark for me to stay here.”

Peter nodded. That made sense. He must have been so paranoid coming out of his brainwashing stuff so it was definitely logical to-

“I can hear you thinking.” Bucky’s voice slapped through Peter’s wild thought spiral. Peter coughed. 

“S-sorry…I just…was…the other day I …we…”

"Can't help you if you don't tell me what's happened punk." Peter sighed. 

"I don't want to disrespect you, sir."

"Stop calling me sir." Peter grimaced. This was going well.

"Sorry! M-Mr Barnes...we...downstairs the other day we... " Peter swallowed, finding it difficult to say the words to Luka's closest friend. "Kissed." 

That caught Bucky's attention. His eyes widened slightly and he shifted so that he was sitting up on the bed. Then he started to smile.

"Well. That's good." Bucky said, still smiling. "Then?" 

"What do you mean then?"

"Well, what happened after?” 

"Mr...Mr Stark walked in." Bucky kissed his teeth with his tongue. 

"Yep, that'll ruin a moment. What's the next move then?" 

"Uhh...that's actually w-why I came here. To ask you." Bucky nodded, then patted the space on the bed next to him. Once Peter had sat down, Bucky shifted so he was facing him more directly.

"What do you want to do next?" Bucky asked, as Peter fiddled with his hands again.

"I...I want to kiss her again." He saw Bucky smile out of the corner of his eye, and felt his face growing hot again. "I just..."

"Scared of Tony?" Peter shook his head before he even thought about it. "Scared of her?" Peter was quiet. "She's not as … what's the word ... unapproachable, as everyone thinks."

"She's still scary." Peter muttered. 

"She's just had to deal with some crap, she knows what she wants and she finds a way to get it. If it doesn't interest her, or it pisses her off, she says so. She's confident, that's all. "

"And apparently I'm not." Peter quipped, remembering what she said about him being a _‘puppy’_. "She said you...you and her..." Bucky held his hands up.

"Just friends." 

"I know...but...there was..." Peter gestured with his head. "Wasn't there?" 

"Briefly." Bucky sighed. "When we first met. Nothing since. We are much better friends than we would be anything else." Bucky watched Peter, who was frowning, and now playing with a thread on the blanket. "I'm not the thing that's worrying you though, am I?"

Peter straightened up. If he was going to get the advice he wanted, he had to ask Bucky. 

"I wonder if...if she doesn't want...I haven’t spoken to her since…what if she only likes me for..." Peter tried to gesticulate his point with his hands, but quickly realised there was no right way to mime 'sex'. Bucky frowned, trying to decipher his actions, then he got it.

"Oh! Oh..." Bucky cleared his throat. "Look, Luka isn't the kind of person to beat around the bush. Ask her."

"Ask her?" An angry emotion flared up in Peter. "Ask her if that's all she wants to do? I can't do that!"

"What's the big deal?" Bucky asked, watching Peter groan and put his head in his hands. They were silent for a few seconds. "You have....you have had sex before haven't you?" Peter made another noise, his face still buried, but the red blush creeping up his neck couldn't be hidden. "Well that's another issue entirely."

"What do I do Mr Barnes? I'm mad for a girl who's way out of my league and has all this experience and had a crush on you and I'm just a stupid nervous kid that hasn't even had sex! This is a nightmare!" Peter groaned again, frustrated, and flopped back until he was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. 

"Trust me kid, there's worse positions to be in." Bucky voice was low and serious, and Peter's stomach dropped from guilt. He was literally telling a guy that had been brainwashed into being an assassin that _his_ life was hard. Good one. 

"I'm sorry." He saw Bucky shake his head, non-verbally telling him it was okay. But Peter didn't feel okay. 

"Answer me this, next time you see her, if you ask her what she wants to do, and she says that all she was is something casual…how would you feel?" Peter thought about Bucky's question. 

"I wouldn't mind." He finally answered, quietly. He almost missed the smile creep up in Bucky's face. "I just..." He ran his hands over his face. "I really like her. I just keep thinking back to the kiss and when-"

"Don't need details."

"Right, sorry, it just...it felt really good. She seemed to like it. I want to be the one that makes her feel like that."

Peter flinched when Bucky slapped his hands on his thighs and stood up.

"Right, first thing, you need to speak to her again. Why haven’t you texted her?” Bucky said walking over to his mini fridge and grabbing one of the many bottles of water in there, cracking the cap open and taking a drink.

“I…I don’t have her number.” Peter said, sheepishly. Bucky frowned and waved his finger in the air. 

“You do realise FRIDAY has everyone’s details? Ask her.” 

“I can’t! That’s so…”

“Sneaky?” Bucky asked, an eyebrow raised. “God you are young. Everyone does it, how do you think we made the group chat? Nat walked around asking for people’s numbers?”

Peter thought. He had a good point. You all lived there, so any information that FRIDAY had was essentially available to all of you. 

“FRIDAY,” Bucky announced. “Download Luka’s number into Peter’s phone.” He took another sip, then Peter’s phone dinged. He took it out of his pocket to see the new notification; _New contact added_. He breathed deeply. 

“Uh…thanks…”

“Now, you have no excuse. You don’t even have to see her face.”

“What am I supposed to say? Hi, it’s Peter, I have your number without your consent, can we make out again?” Peter said sarcastically, making Bucky roll his eyes. 

“Maybe start with a simple ‘hi’, kid.” 

“Right, sure, easy peasy.”

“Now, for the _other_ bit…” Bucky sighed as he sat next to Peter on the bed. “You know, you being painfully virginal.” Peter scoffed, but Bucky just laughed and slung an arm over his shoulders. “If you wanna do it, go for it.”

“But…I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Most people don’t. Just tell her. She doesn’t like being deceived.” Bucky watched Peter’s fearful expression. “The first time ain’t all it’s made out to be, it’s awkward for everyone, but the main thing is that you’re doing it with someone you at least like.” Peter nodded slightly. 

“What was…what was your first time like?” Bucky almost didn’t hear the boy’s small voice. But he wasn’t a super assassin for no reason. He took his arm off Peter’s shoulders. 

“First time ever, or first time after I woke up?” Peter’s eyes widened. 

“You…you’ve…either!” He stumbled over his words, making Bucky laugh. 

“First time ever, awkward and rushed. We were trying to find out where everything went and tried to finish before the old man got back.” Bucky laughed, looking fondly into the air as he clearly relived the memory. “Still fun though. First time after I woke up,” he breathed. “Really slow. Still awkward, but they were a good sport and was real patient.” 

Peter nodded. Bucky stood up again, this time walking to his drawers and producing a book. 

"What's that?" Peter asked as Bucky ruffled through the pages, finding a specific one before handing it over to Peter. He took the book, looked at the page, and read the words 'SEX'. He frowned up at Bucky. "It's this a How to guide to get laid?"

Bucky laughed. “No…but kind of. It’s everything I remembered from the old days, and some of the stuff I’ve learnt about now. And some of Sam’s ‘suggestions’.” Bucky did air quotes with his fingers as Peter ran his eyes over the pages. “It’s just some tips, some things to keep in mind.”  
Peter started smiling, really grateful, although kinda weirded out, then a sudden thought hit him like a wall of bricks. His hands and the book flopped down to rest on his lap.

“When did you write this?” Peter asked. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You…” Peter cleared his throat. “You wrote this after you woke up. Was that when you and Luka first had your thing?” Bucky breathed. 

“Kind of.” Bucky finally muttered, his right hand running through his hair. Peter closed the book. “It’s not about her.”

“But it is. You wrote all the stuff you remembered about having … doing that, because you met Luka.”

“It was more like, I had those feelings again and went through exactly what you're going through now, what am I supposed to do, what things don't you do. Not necessarily with Luka, but I realised that if I was attracted to her, then at some point... I would be doing this stuff with someone. Not Luka." 

They were silent again. 

"This is weird." Peter whispered, still staring at the page. Bucky scratched the back of his neck. 

"Yeah...I didn't really think that through. I just thought it'd be helpful." Bucky watched Peter staring at the floor. “I want to make sure you realise that nothing is going on with me and Luka.”

Peter nodded as he opened the notebook again and he scanned over the notes. "Still weird." Bucky pointed to one of the astericks. 

"This is stuff you can find online, like-"

"I know what porn is." Bucky took his hand away. 

"Just wanted to make sure it was clear." Peter closed the book slowly. 

"I think...I think I'm gonna go. " Bucky nodded. As Peter neared the door, he couldn't really place how he felt. Bucky wasn't...unhelpful, but it was weird that he gave him the book on things he would have done to the girl that Peter is trying to get with. He clutched the book with both hands as he approached the door. Then he turned around to Bucky.

"Thanks." Peter said, his voice coming out a bit strangled. Bucky nodded again. He didn't need to say anything else. "Umm...if, if I have any...questions...could I - "

"Yeah, yeah, I'll try not to make it awkward next time." Bucky have him a half smile, which Peter reciprocated. Then he turned the door handle, and left.


	7. I'm So Down

Peter spent the next two days training as hard as he possibly could, asking Steve and Sam and Clint to basically murder him in the gym. He had sweated so much he actually lost a couple of pounds. Again, he hadn’t seen Luka in these last two days, which he thought was odd. Up until that night in the lab, he always saw her up in the common rooms, with the other Avengers, and since that night, nothing. 

He thought after he spoke to Bucky that she would pop up, assuming he would have said something to her, but apparently not. 

He was grabbing some of the mac n cheese that Wanda had batch made for everybody when he felt a body next to him, and a metal arm reached over him for the spoon he had just put down. 

“Text her yet?” A low voice sounded in his ear. He shook his head ‘no’. Bucky laughed. “You’re as bad as she is.” Peter whipped his head round, watching as Bucky filled his plate, sucked his thumb and smiled, before walking to the table. 

“What do you mean?” Peter asked as he followed him.

“Who’s as bad as Peter?” Natasha chimed in, shoving a forkful of pasta in her mouth. 

“No one.” Peter mumbled. 

“Is this about Luka?” Natasha continued, as if he said nothing, looking at Bucky, who nodded. 

“Does everyone know?” Peter groaned.

“About you and Luka?” Clint teased as he sat next to Nat. “Pretty much.”

“Why do you think Tony’s got her locked downstairs?” Sam asked Peter, who was still standing next to the table while everyone else was sitting and eating. “His precious musn’t socialize with boys.” Sam mimicked the voice of Gollum, making everyone laugh. 

“Seriously?” Peter looked at Bucky, who nodded. 

“She’s been down there for about a week.” Bucky said, raising a knowing eyebrow at Peter, who gulped. 

A week. 

That’s how long it had been since they kissed. 

Luka had been kept down there since that night. 

Peter plonked his bowl on the table, causing every single person to look up at him. 

“I’m not hungry.” He stammered before running out of the room. He kept walking, adrenaline fueling through his entire body, he jumped down the stairs, whirled round the corners, and kept going.

He stopped suddenly in front of the glass doors of the lab. 

Tony Stark was on the other side, working away.

Peter swallowed, then pushed the door open.

Except, it didn’t open. It just creaked.

Tony looked up at him, and just shook his head. 

“M-Mr Stark?” Peter’s voice cracked as he spoke. Tony just put his head back down to focus on the machine in his hand. “Mr Stark!” Tony dropped all his things, and stared straight ahead. Peter could see his chest heaving with a deep breath. 

Then he stood and walked towards the doors, his eyes on Peter. Threateningly. Peter stepped back. 

“What do _you_ want, kid?” Tony said, harsh and cold. 

“I…I…where’s Luka?” Peter finally got out. Tony scoffed. 

“Not your concern. You should be training and preparing yourself for our next mission.”

“But sir-“

“She’s fine, but she’s not available to see you.”

“Sir I –“ Tony’s hands slammed onto the door frame, making Peter flinch. 

“Understand something, Parker. You and Luka will not see each other again. Do I make myself clear?” Peter could feel the anger radiating off him, like a fire licking his skin. His eyebrows were drawn tight in a frown, and he felt his eyes starting to prickle.

“I don’t…what did I do?” Peter’s question made Tony Stark sigh. 

Tony was quiet for a few seconds. “I have rules in place.” He finally said.” You betrayed my trust by sneaking down here. It’s in Luka’s best interest to not have any external distractions.” 

“She’s not even allowed friends?” Tony quirked an eyebrow. 

“That’s all it is?” Peter closed his mouth. “I don’t think a _friend_ would do what you and her did down here last week.” Peter’s mouth went dry. “Forgot that I have cameras covering every inch of this compound, did you?” 

“Sir…I …I’m sorry I –“ Peter stammered. Tony just pushed himself off the door frame.

“We’re done here.” Tony said, before turning around and walking back to his bench. “FRIDAY, ban Mr Parker from any floor that isn’t his room or communal areas.” 

Then the lights went red and a loud alarm sounded, making Peter’s head throb.

“You are in a restricted area. You must leave.” FRIDAY’s usually calm voice suddenly sounded horrible, robotic, and cold. 

With his hands over his ears, Peter took a final look at Mr Stark’s back, hunched over his work table, then when his brain started screaming at him from the alarm, he ran up the stairs, with the beginnings of tears in his eyes. 

As soon as he reached his first ‘permittable’ floor (where the gym was), the alarm stopped, and he slumped onto the floor, exhausted, the tears falling onto the carpet. His hands clenched into fists, and he yelled. 

He’d ruined it. They’d barely started anything, and it was already fucked up. 

Just like with Liz, Luka’s overbearing ‘father’ figure had wrecked any chance they had of a future. 

He was such an idiot for thinking this time would be different. 

He took a few moments to breathe through his emotions, although it didn’t make him feel any better. But he at least felt like he could stand up and get to his room. 

He shakily got to his feet, his hand reaching for the wall to support himself. He sniffed loudly, and wiped his nose. 

He wobbled through the compound, weirdly not running into anybody else, and made it to his room, where he flopped face first down onto his bed. 

And he made another noise. 

Everything was wasted. Him taking four days to ask Bucky for advice. Reading that stupid notebook. Texting Ned and MJ at all hours to ask them his anxious thoughts. Sneaking into Tony’s office and taking that whiskey to the lab. It was all pointless. 

All he’d gotten was the best kiss of his life and a broken heart. 

_Ding._

“Mr Parker?” Peter grunted as FRIDAY’s voice echoed in his room. “Mr James Barnes has asked me to relay a message.” Peter turned his head, so he could at least see.

“What?” He croaked. 

“Mr Barnes said to use your phone.” Peter frowned at the tech’s voice. His phone? What was he supposed to use his phone-

He scrambled up, his eyes wide, flew off his bed and threw his hands across his sheets. WHERE WAS HIS PHONE?!

He ran to his drawers and ripped them all open, throwing out his clothes – NOT HERE!

Jesus fuck why was he so useless with his PHONE?!

Then he heard it buzzing. He froze. Then he turned slowly until the buzzing got louder, and looked straight ahead. Not on the ceiling. Not on the wall (believe me, it’d happened before). It was louder when he looked at the floor. He narrowed his eyes, crouched down, and crept along the carpet towards where he was looking; his bed. 

But he had checked his bed, it wasn’t there. He kept creeping, trying to follow the intermittent vibrations with his spidey-sense. Was that…was it _**under**_ his bed? 

He let himself down until he was on his stomach, and searched under his bed. 

Face down, somehow dead in the middle, was his phone, uselessly vibrating away. Peter sighed. Must have fallen out of his pocket when he flung… when he gracefully walked into his bedroom. 

Having finally got his phone, he unlocked it. 

The buzzing was a message. 

He had a message. 

_1 New Message: Luka_.

“Shall I send thanks to Mr Barnes?” FRIDAY’s voice startled Peter out of his intense staring match with his phone screen. 

“Uh, yeah. Yeah please Ms FRIDAY. Thank you. Umm,” Peter looked at his ceiling. “Any chance Mr Stark could not be informed of that little…conversation?” Silence from the air. Until..

“What conversation, Peter?” Peter smiled, and muttered another thanks to his room, then turned his attention back to his phone. 

He took a deep breath, and pressed the notification. 

_L: Sorry about the alarm._

Well…that wasn’t really what he was expecting. But, he couldn’t really complain, could he?

He typed out a few responses, deleting each one almost straight away, scratching his head as he thought he sounded ridiculously stupid in each one. 

_L: You know I can see you typing for the last two minutes?_

Damn, busted. Peter ran a hand over his face and tried to think. All he could hear in his head was Bucky telling him not to beat around the bush. 

Honest. He could do that. 

_P: Sorry…I’m trying not to sound like an idiot._

_L: You won’t know that you do unless you send it :)_

_P: Very true…_

_L: Seriously though, I am sorry. Stark watched the cameras after he sent us off, confronted me in the morning. I get the same alarm if I try to leave the lab area!_

_P: So he’s effectively contained us in separate areas?_

_L: Pretty much._

_P: This sucks._

_L: Why does it suck?_

This was it, Peter. Just be honest. Send it. The worst is that she’ll stop replying. 

_P: I want to see you._

_L: Oh really?_

_P: I’ve been trying to work out what to do next all week._

_L: Why didn’t you text me?_

_P: Why didn’t you?_

The conversation stalled. Crap, crap! He’d pissed her off, he knew he had. He squeezed his eyes shut. God damn it Peter!

_**Bzzz Bzzz.**_ He opened his eyes, and slowly looked down at the screen. 

_L: Touche, Spidey-boy. Now, ready to answer a serious question?_

_P: Never. Shoot._

_L: Wanna be my secret penpal?_


	8. It Gets Harder For Me

Peter had texted Luka pretty much all day for the last three days. They had both fiddled with the hardware on the phones to try and block any ‘monitoring’ program that Mr Stark could have put on there. He would be lying if he tried to say he was okay with not seeing her, but he was enjoying it. It was making him feel good, having a secret, special relationship with someone he’d been essentially forbidden from seeing. Was that wrong?

Peter would text her about his day, and Luka would send over bits that she was working on. The kiss hadn’t been mentioned, but he didn’t care; they were talking. And talking was better than not talking. 

He flopped happily onto his bed, his belly comfortably full from dinner. He glanced at the clock – twenty minutes to go until she usually messaged him. 

He scrolled through their previous messages, pausing on one of the selfies she’d sent, just looking at her. 

Her nose was wrinkled and she was sticking her tongue out, her eyes kind of squinted, but he could still see the beautiful honey golden colour there. There were a few spots around her nose, indicative of her freckles, but he remembered that she had a lot more in person. Her hair was up, he assumed, because all he could see was a few wisps of strands around her face. She had a couple streaks of dirt above her eyebrow, and he was strangely fond of it. She was so into her work, he reached a finger to his screen and pretended as if he could wipe the dirt away. 

He jumped and dropped his phone when it buzzed. 

“Shit…” He mumbled, picking it back up off his stomach and searched for the source of the buzzing. 

He sat up suddenly when he saw it was a new text from her. 

_L: Gimme a couple mins, I just gotta shower. Absolutely grim from today’s work!_

She ended it with a smattering of tongue out and laughing emojis, making him smile. Then his mouth went dry at the next message. 

A picture of her in her bathroom, in her towel. A small smile of her lips, and one of her eyebrows slightly raised. He wiped his sweaty palms on his trouser leg, and started typing a shaky response. 

_P: No worries, I’ll be here!_

He threw his phone on the bed space in front of his legs, staring at it. That picture was definitely a new thing. Selfies they had done, but half naked? He wasn’t sure if she was aware of the effect it had on him. 

What if she did? And she sent it anyway?

What if they’d gotten so into the friend zone that she figured this would have no effect?

He rested his chin in his hands. And waited. Four painful minutes later, his phone buzzed again. He slowly breathed out, picked it up, and looked. 

_L: All done! Missed me?_

He nodded to himself. Obviously. But, he’d gotten rather confident in their exchanges lately. For example, his sarcasm was almost on point with hers, so he decided to text her back something different than what he thought. 

_P: Oh, already? Barely noticed, I’m so busy over here._

_L: Bullshit, Spidey-boy._

_P: Language, dear._

_L: What have you been doing that made you soooooo busy then?_

_P: I was rearranging my socks._

_L: Good one._

_P: I thought so._ Peter smiled, and leaned back on his pillows. This was his general position these days, smiling like a goofball on his bed texting a girl he didn’t know if he’d ever see again. 

_L: Ugh why is getting dressed so hard._

_P: It’s really not?_

_L: It so is. I’m sat here in nothing because I can’t be bothered to walk to my drawers. Soo farrr_

There goes the saliva in Peter’s mouth again. He tried to lick his lips, but everything was so dry and sticky. He also had a weird feeling in his belly. A feeling he wasn’t sure if he should indulge in. And yet he found himself typing…

_P: You’re sitting in your room naked?_

_L: Ya_

Peter groaned and closed his eyes for a moment.

_L: Don’t believe me?_

_P: I mean, everyone has to wear clothes._

_L: Want proof that I’m not everyone?_

This girl was going to be the death of him. He stood after reading that message, shaking his hands and walking around. 

Yes, Peter Parker was a virgin. But he wasn’t clueless. He knew about sexting. He’d watched porn. He knew the general…area. He’d kissed people. He and Liz made out on a bed once. MJ talked in detail about how far she’d got with her girlfriend on a cinema date before being kicked out. But he had never done any of that other stuff himself. 

So what was he supposed to say in response? 

He grabbed his phone, and called Mr Barnes. 

Then he hung up. That was a weird conversation to have with him. He paused, then dialed the next person he thought of. 

“Hi! MJ,” He almost shouted when she answered. “I need help.” 

“Close your eyes and do what she says.” Came MJ’s voice on the other end. 

“What? No, seriously. I’m texting Luka and -”

“Then text her.” Peter heard giggling in the background. 

“Hi Gwen.” He said, rolling his eyes. “MJ please. She…she asked me if I want proof.”

“Proof of what, Parker?”

“Of her not wearing clothes.” There was silence. 

“DUH! You seriously needed my advice on that?”

“Well, I -”

“Peter, look. That’s an invitation for some sexy texty. If you don’t take her up on it, then you may as well admit that you don’t fancy her.”

“But I do.” Peter argued.

“Exactly. Think of it as practice for the real thing. Now take your shirt off, reply to her, and have some fun.” She hung up before Peter could respond. She was right though. This is what he’d been wanting since they first kissed. It just happened to be over text rather than in person. 

He clicked back to the text, boring into his phone, loaded with what seemed like a lifetime of pressure. How was he meant to respond? Blasé? Excited? Like himself? 

And he started typing. And stopped, when a new message came through.

A picture of her, laying on her bed, wrapped in her towel, her bottom lip pouting out. Her hair was wet, fanned out on the sheets, and she was sticking her tongue out at the camera. He could see most of her legs, and the towel seemed to just cover the top of her…

_P: Wow you weren’t kidding._

_L: Why would I kid about being naked?_

_P: Technically you are still wearing a towel, so it’s not completely naked._

_L: Do I detect disappointment, Mr Parker?_

He wasn’t sure how to respond. She looked phenomenal, even in a towel, so no, he was not disappointed. On the other hand…he’d be lying if he didn’t say he was intrigued. He wanted to do this, he just needed to go for it. 

Go hard or go home, right?

He settled into a comfortable lying down position on his bed, and took a deep breath before starting what was possibly the scariest thing he’d ever done. 

_P: Maybe a little._

_L: Aww. What could I do to make it better?_

_P: Send another one?_

_L: This feels a little unbalanced. Tit for tat._

_P: I don’t know what that means?_

_L: Oh poor sweet Spidey-Boy. It means, you send a picture, I send a picture._

Peter breathed out. And flexed his arms. This was fine. He opened the camera, and took a selfie, trying to look as bored as he possibly could while there was a wildfire ripping through his veins. 

Yep, fine, whatever, send. Wait.

_L: You can’t seriously think that counts?_

_P: You said a picture, you never said what kind of picture._

_L: Then let me show you._

Peter felt his face simultaneously drain cold and flush hot. He watched the text screen, eager as ever for the next message. 

The longest ever minute passed. But my god it was worth it. 

The towel wasn’t wrapped around her anymore. And she wasn’t laying down. 

She was up on her knees, the camera in front of her, and she was holding the towel up with one hand splayed across her chest. It was angled fucking perfectly, covering most of her body, except for a small slither down the side where the curves of her waist and hips stood out behind. Her face wasn’t even in it, and he hated himself to say he didn’t care. He felt the blood in his body physically shoot down. 

Then he realized his mouth was open, and he was panting. 

A new message appeared at the bottom. 

_L: Make sense?_

He nodded, then realized she couldn’t actually see him. 

_P: Yeah, that makes a lot more sense now._

_L: Come on then, your turn ;)_

He sat up and tore his top off, tensing his chest and stomach a couple of times. Yeah, that’s good. Should he lie down again? That was fine wasn’t it? 

He opened the camera. He couldn’t just stare at the screen. He played around, shifting his arm in different positions until he decided on resting it behind his head. He angled the camera down slightly, less of his face, more of his torso, like she had done. 

Then he stuck his tongue out. She looked good doing it, why wouldn’t he?

He snapped it, checked it, sent it. 

_L: Now you’re getting it._

_P: Thanks for teaching me. Your turn?_

_L: No no, you have two of me now, and yet I only have one proper one of you._

_P: You want another one of me?_

_L: Preferably with slightly less on._

Now he was sweating. Was he really doing this? Sending nudes to a girl he’s kissed once in the last month?

His trouser button was undone before he could even answer that question. He pushed his trousers down, not all the way, just halfway down his boxers. He was so glad he wore his plain black pair rather than his Spongebob ones today. He fiddled with everything and cursed when he realized that there was a rather _prominent_ problem in his boxers. Peter settled on tucking the majority of it under his jeans, pulling them up a bit so it didn’t look too weird. 

It took him six tries to get the picture. A bit of his jeans, a bit of boxer, his chest, a bit of his lips. He wasn’t sure what the standard for these were, but he figured as long as he was relatively naked, that was the aim, right? 

He quickly sent it when he realized that he’d been messing about for seven minutes.

_L: I was about to scold you and ask why you were keeping me waiting._

_P: And now?_

_L: I’m very okay with it._

_P: I’m glad._

_L: I know we haven’t talked about it…but I wish you were down here to kiss me again._

Peter became so uncomfortable he had to just take his jeans completely off. 

_P: You do?_

The only response was another picture. 

Without the towel.

Cleverly covering herself with her arms and hands. Peter cursed. And readjusted himself.

_P: I’ll take that as a yes._

_L: Can I ask you a question?_

_P: Anything._

_L: If Tony hadn’t walked in, what would you have done next?_

Come on man, he said to himself, you can do this. Peter tried to type it, realizing very quickly that he wasn’t sure what would have happened next, considering he’s never done anymore. 

_P: I think about that a lot._

_L: What do you think about?_

_P: I’ve thought about how I could get my hands on your skin. And kiss you, really hard._

_L: Cute._

He frowned. This wasn’t supposed to be cute?! What the hell! He started thinking of what else he could say, when she sent another message. 

_L: I wanted to get your top off you, and kiss all down your chest, and your stomach, maybe your hands go in my hair, and then I wanted to undo the button on your trousers, and push them down, just like you’ve done in your picture…and then I wanted to get my hands on you, and find out how much you really wanted me._

The phone fell out of his hands. His head and his palms were sweaty. He was shaking, his belly on fire, his boxers getting tight. He stood, leaving his phone on his bed, and walked to the bathroom. His ears were thumping deafeningly, as he turned on the cold tap and stuck his face underneath. 

When he could actually feel the cold water, he turned the water off, and breathed. This was new. This was very new. He hadn’t felt this out of control since he first got his powers. And it was because of a _person_.

He talked to himself in the mirror, how he could handle this, and what he could say back. He finally felt more composed, pointed at himself in the mirror, then stormed out the bathroom. 

He could do this. 

He grabbed his phone, sat on the bed, and opened their text chain. 

_L: Sorry if I scared you off. Gotta run an errand for the Big Man. Text me tomorrow._

Well shit.


	9. Just Crash

So, Peter understood that 20 minutes was too long to leave a message without replying, that was totally his fault. 

But now he didn’t understand how you’re meant to message that same person the next day – do you carry on? Do you act like nothing happened and just say ‘Morning?’ What was he meant to do?!

He decided to ignore it. Completely. He went about his day (feeling guilty as hell), without looking at his phone, and without replying at all. 

He locked himself in his room, and played video games, as soon as his training was finished. He needed to think. If this carried on, he could hardly have a panic attack every time, he needed to be able to just continue the conversation, and sext like every other person his age. 

There was a knock on his door. Oh great, just what he wanted, company. Not.

He paused his game, stood and opened his bedroom door. 

"Look I'm not really -" He stopped himself talking as he looked at the person standing in front of him. 

Mr Stark.

"Not really what?" He asked. Peter's voice was stuck in his throat.

"U-uhh..." He stammered out.

"Can I come in?" Peter nodded, then moved out of the way to let his boss (who hated him) through. “I noticed something, when I was checking my surveillance systems.” Peter’s heart dropped, as Tony walked through his room, looking at his scattered clothes, his hands looped around his back.

“W-what…what did you find?”

“Well, it’s very strange. About fifteen minutes ago, the camera in the hallway right outside your room glitched, for about 1.14 seconds.” Mr Stark walked back to Peter, and leaned in, an eyebrow raised. “Any thoughts?”

Peter shook his head. 

“I’ve been here playing video games, haven’t heard a thing, sir.” Peter said, his voice slightly shaky, but he didn’t fumble any words, which was good for him. 

“Hmm…” Mr Stark leaned back, then he looked around the room once more. “I will check it again. But know this, Parker,” Mr Stark held a single finger up at him. “My system does not glitch. Understood?”

“I haven’t done anything sir.” Peter said, his fingers gripping the door handle painfully tight. He watched the finger point at his nose, then drop to the man’s side. 

“See you at training tomorrow.” Mr Stark said coolly, before stalking out of the open door. 

Peter exhaled loudly, the top half of his body hunching over. He rushed to close the door, his hands and his forehead resting on the wood. Maybe one day, he would be on good terms with Mr Stark again, but he wasn’t holding out much hope. 

After taking another breath, he pushed himself off the door and turned around.

And screamed.

“JESUS!” His hand flew to his chest as he stumbled back, away from the figure on his bed. “L-” He stepped away from the door and dropped his voice to a whisper. “Luka, what the hell are you doing here?!” 

“I’m Tony’s glitch.”

She just smiled and stood up slowly. She was wearing black tight leggings, a red t shirt, her black hair flooding around her shoulders. He watched her walk closer to him and folded her arms.

He should say something. He really should say something. He could say-

“You never texted me back.” She said, raising an eyebrow. She looked angry.

“Uhh…I …”

“Did I upset you?” She asked, her arms dropping to her sides. Peter’s eyes widened, and he stepped forward. 

“No! Not at all! I just…” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m…I’ve never…” She stepped closer to him, and now she was so close that he could pick out some of the freckles peppering her nose, how her eyes weren’t just brown as he originally thought, but had flecks of green near her pupil. Her lips were slightly dry in the middle but when she licked them, it disappeared, and they looked pink and soft again. She had a scar on the left side of her mouth, small, thin, like she got it a long time ago. 

All he could think now he was staring at her was their kiss, when she was on his lap, kissing him, her hands over his skin, her hips-

Peter couldn’t tell you how long he stared at her, drinking in every feature of her face. It was probably a creepy amount of time, but she wasn’t saying anything. When he looked back up to her eyes, they were looking straight back at him, soft, almost amused. 

“Uhh…sorry.” He mumbled, leaning back slightly. “What I’m trying to say is…I’m not good at this. Any of this.” He gestured between them, but Luka just smiled. 

“I knew that the moment I met you.”

“Great.” He huffed. She reached forward and grabbed both his hands.

“Answer me this,” Luka said, her voice low and soft. “Do you want me to stop?” Her hand moved forward and slid round his neck. 

His eyes widened, his mouth fell open, and before he could stutter out a reply, she kissed him.

As soon as their lips touched, Luka’s phone buzzed in her pocket. Their mouths separated, and Peter leaned his forehead against hers. 

“Please, please don’t answer that.” He whispered, almost begging. She nodded, jogging his head as hers moved against his, and she leant back in to kiss him again. 

He took his hands and ran them through her hair, turning and pushing her back against the door. His tongue slid between her lips and she opened her mouth for him. He couldn’t hear, he couldn’t see, he could only feel her on his mouth. It was like kissing her was the only salvation he was allowed, his nerves dissipating the longer his eyes were closed, the longer he could feel her lips, her tongue, running across his. He only wanted more of her.

Her hands were suddenly round his neck, pulling him closer to her, his hands went to her thighs and lifted her up like she weighed nothing, pushing his body into hers and pinning her against the door. He felt the rumble of a moan in her mouth reverberate on her lips, and he felt something twist in his stomach. He kissed her hungrily, needily, she was audibly moaning as his hips started to push against her. Her legs were wrapped tight around his waist, one of his hands found the door and he felt her slowly grinding back against him. He couldn’t believe what he was doing, and she was doing it back. He’d watched all sorts of videos on this, and he was surprised he actually had the confidence to do it. 

Her hands slid under the collar of his shirt, her fingernails lightly dragging on his skin as their tongues slid over each other, their bodies subtly moving together, her back hitting the door every so often. His hand slid underneath her top, across her amazingly soft stomach, but he paused when he felt the fabric of her bra.

“Let me help you there.” Luka pulled away, still held up by him, and pulled her T-Shirt off, throwing it behind him. He stared, his hand frozen in place.

“I…” he spoke, his voice strained. She pulled on his neck and moved to his ear, biting it gently. 

“How about we go to the bed?” He nodded quickly and moved immediately. Luka squealed and squeezed her thighs around his waist, making their bodies automatically press together. Peter growled and dropped her on the bed, looking down at her. He grabbed the bottom of his top and ripped it over his head, then crawled on the bed on top of Luka, catching her lips in another passionate kiss. 

She was incredibly aroused, the weight of his body on top of her, feeling every single one of his muscles against her skin, and she had a vivid thought that it would be impossible to move him unless he let her. She shivered at the idea of being slightly helpless under his touch. 

His mouth trailed down her neck, and she felt his teeth graze her skin, sending an ignition of pleasure through her spine, although she wasn’t sure if he did it intentionally. She looked up at the ceiling, breathing heavily as his lips ran all over her neck, collarbone and shoulder, before heading down to her breasts.

His fingers ran over the lace of her bra before his lips followed, and she was struggling to believe that this was the same Peter that struggled to get a whole sentence out sometimes. She ran her fingers through the curls of his hair as he started pulling the lace cup away from her, kissing the newly exposed skin, his touch meaningful, but hesitant. 

“Peter…” she breathed, feeling him hum in response. “You can take it off.” He looked up at her and she wanted to giggle. His eyes blown wide in a mixture of want and shock, his lips puffed up and pink, one hand still on her breast. 

“I umm…” She smiled. She loved how quickly his nerves came back. Then his eyes narrowed at her. “Not yet.” She raised an eyebrow. “There’s something else I want first.” She was about to ask what he meant when he resumed his kissing, his fingers running and squeezing her breast slightly. His hand then slid down to her waist and his mouth moved down her stomach. She felt herself tingling as his lips touched her sensitive skin, reaching her belly button, but not stopping.

He reached the top of her leggings, and she felt his hand slide down to the waistband and hook over the top. He inched it down ever so slightly, and kissed the skin revealed by the movement. She arched her back and bit her lip. She wanted more. She felt his mouth stretch into a smile. 

“You’re not very patient, are you Luka?” She huffed at his words. 

“I know what I want. Do you?” He briefly looked up before pulling her leggings down a little bit more and kissing her skin again. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked as he moved back up over her body and kissed her lips. 

“I’ve been doing some deducing, Spiderboy.” He hummed, kissing down her jaw. “And I believe this is the first time you’ve done this.” His movement stalled. “Would I be right?” His face came level with hers. 

“Does that scare you?” he whispered, looking between her lips and her eyes. She moved her hands to his neck and pulled him closer.

“Quite the opposite, actually.” She said before kissing him deeply. He groaned at her actions, but when he felt her trying to push him over, he pushed down and grabbed her hands and pinned them to the bed. 

“No, it’s my turn now.” 

“Yes sir.” She smirked as one of his hands left hers and ran down her body. 

“Leave your hands there.” He ordered. She nodded before he kissed her again, his hand returning to the top of her leggings. She prepared herself to be patient while he teased her again, when his hand slid under her leggings. She gasped into his mouth as his fingers traced her clit and her core.

“Fuck, you’re so wet.” Peter shuddered as their lips separated briefly. He rested his forehead against hers as his fingers explored, slowly, painfully, the sensations of his touch against her nerves spiking pleasure through her body. She breathed heavily, wishing he would slide his finger in, or push on her clit, something so that she could release the tension quickly building inside her. 

“Peter…please…” She muttered, looking up into his eyes, which were watching her movements intricately. 

“I…I…” Luka watched Peter struggle to finish the sentence. 

Then she moved her hands to his shoulders and pushed them over, making him land on his back as she straddled his hips, his hand still touching her.

“How about I show you what to do?” She leaned down to his ear and whispered. He nodded slowly, about to pull his hand out, when she grabbed his wrist, stilling his movement. Then she slid her hand over his, under her underwear, and pushed his fingers against her clit, making her mouth shudder open slightly. “Feel that?” He nodded. “That’s very special, be gentle with her.” He smiled, slowly running his tongue over his bottom lip.

Then he sat up quickly, wrapping his other arm around her waist and cementing her body to his. He breathed in, and moved his fingers down until he felt her lips part. 

“What about here?” He asked, watching her breaths panting out of her mouth. “What do I do here?” His fingers slid up and down, and over her entrance, her hand resting lightly over his as he moved. 

“That’s…that’s good, you don’t want to move too fast here.” He shook his head, his eyes staying on hers. Then her hand gained some control and she guided one of his fingers to her entrance, the tip sliding in. “Be gentle, firm, slow.” He slid his finger further inside, the feeling making her want to moan and rock her hips into the movement, but she restrained herself. This was his exploration, not hers. He watched her face as he sunk down to his knuckle, watching her fighting with her reaction. She was hot, wet, smooth, fitting snugly around him.

He pulled his finger out slightly, pushed it back in again, then frowned at her. 

“Baby, are you holding out on me?” She shook her head, and when Peter repeated the movement, she bit her lip. He leaned up and kissed her, using the hand wrapped around her waist to grab her wrist and remove her hand from out of her leggings. He started slowly pumping his finger in and out of her, kissing her deeply. 

“More…” She pulled away to say.

“How-“

“Another one, please.” He nodded, kissing her again and sliding another finger alongside his first. He felt her stiffen slightly, and moved to pull them out when she rolled her hips, sliding them back in. He went back to the technique from before, in and out, slowly, and it worked beautifully when Luka started rocking her hips into the motion. 

He watched her, mouth open, breaths heavy, her body moving gorgeously against him. He suddenly realized he was hard, but didn’t falter.

“Am I…is this okay?” He whispered, making her look down at him, her hips moving slowly.

“Of course it is. Are you not enjoying it?” She asked before kissing him, her hands moving to his neck. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m …this is great.” He said quickly. 

“Want to make it better?” She leant to his ear and whispered. He nodded, watching her move back, one of her hands tugging his arm, pulling his fingers out of her. She shuffled back slightly until she could pull her leggings off completely, then reached for the top of his sweatpants. 

“You…you want…” She put a finger to her lips, indicating that she wanted him to stop talking, which he did, immediately. Then she pushed against his chest, urging him to lie down, and she slowly pulled his sweatpants down, his boxers dragging along with them. He watched her smile before biting her lip, her eyes watching his cock as she pulled his clothes off completely. Her hands ran up his legs, over his knees, his thighs, and he started to feel nervous as her fingers moved closer and closer. If he was shaking, she didn’t notice, or she chose not to comment. He stared, completely at a loss of what to do, watching her face moving nearer to his cock, which involuntarily twitched from the feel of her hot breath. 

She climbed back over him, her face coming up to his, and then he felt her fingers wrap around his length, making him gasp. She raised an eyebrow. 

“Peter…answer me something.” She said. He nodded, his mouth still hanging open as she squeezed slightly, his body jerking at the sudden spike in pleasure. “Have you ever had someone…do this to you before?” 

He looked up at her, and he was sure she could see the answer in his eyes. How was he meant to admit to this excruciatingly sexy woman that she was the first person to ever … ever…

He swallowed, then grabbed her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. Can’t be embarrassed by an answer if you never say it, right? She seemed to accept it, deepening the kiss, her hand firmly gripping his cock, starting to move up and down. He groaned into her mouth, his hips involuntarily rocking up to meet the action, his fingers running into her hair as she began to speed up. 

“Luka…” He breathed, pulling away from her lips by a millimeter. “Luka I-“

“Shh baby,” She whispered, her hand not ceasing. He moaned at the pet name, because apparently that did something to him. “I’ll make you feel good, promise.” She kissed him again, continuing her ministrations but altering the pressure, her grip, her thumb occasionally swiping over the head, until he felt his entire body trembling, a signal that he was close.

Close meant finishing. Finishing meant this was over. That’s something he didn’t want. 

And yet, that’s what ended up happening. 

His body shuddered, and tensed, and he cursed, and with a final yell, he felt as though his entire body was draining and being filled back up with buzzing, tingling. His brain swamped with endorphins, his chest throbbing as he tried to breath in more air, his vision going fuzzy, his mouth stretching into a huge smile. 

He blinked back to reality when he felt the bed shift, and watched the back of Luka walk into the bathroom. He flopped on his back, reveling in the feeling.

He felt amazing. 

Then he felt something wet hit his stomach. He looked down. A cloth. Then he looked at Luka, climbing on the bed beside him. 

“You alright?” She asked, a smile on her lips as she spoke. Peter nodded quickly, then used the cloth to clean up, and chucked it across the room, put his hand on her neck and pulled her in for a deep kiss. She laughed and pushed him back.

“Is..is that not okay?” He asked, suddenly very shy as he sat up.

“No it’s fine, but I should really get going. Tony will notice if I’m gone much longer.”

“Oh.” He couldn’t hide his disappointment. “Was…was I…this…” Her hand reached up to cup his jaw. 

“It was great.” She said, before kissing him quickly on the lips. “But I do have to go.” She started grabbing her clothes off the floor, pulling them on and heading to the door, pulling her phone out and tapping the screen. “Glitch activated. Text me sometime, Spidey-Boy.” 

And with that, she was gone.


	10. I'd Rather Make Mistakes Than Make Nothing at All

Peter woke up slowly the next day, his eyelids fluttering open. He saw the sunlight creeping through the gap in his blinds that he liked to keep open, and he smiled. Stretching his arms, his legs, his toes, he spent a few seconds, breathing, reliving yesterday. 

He absolutely was not expecting Luka to appear in his room, especially after he left her text unanswered for the whole day. It made sense that she would have the skills to briefly disable the alarm and hijack Mr Stark’s surveillance cameras, but he wouldn’t have ever thought that she would utilize those skills to sneak into his room. 

He shivered excitedly at the thought. Luka was risking Mr Stark’s wrath just to see _him_. He was absolutely not expecting for all that…stuff to happen. His smile widened, and his eyes closed as he thought back, her lips on his, her hands on his neck, his shoulders, his …

His hips shuddered as he recalled her fingers wrapped around him, and he felt a creeping desire build inside him. He licked his lips, staring at the ceiling, while he toyed with the idea. _Should he?_

His fingers twitched, outstretched across his sheets, then he moved his hand, first wiping his chest nervously, then working his way down his stomach, below his belly button, reaching for his…

After Luka left, he didn’t bother getting dressed. Hell, he didn’t bother moving much, just crawled under his covers and played on his phone until he was sleepy. Why should he? He was feeling the effects of Luka’s visit for hours after, and clearly still the morning after. He hesitated, wrapping his fingers around himself under the sheets. Luka burned through the bases. Yesterday morning, all he had done was kiss a girl, and got himself off. Now? Now he knew how it felt to have some else’s fingers on his cock, to have his fingers inside someone else, the sounds he could draw out of another person, their skin on his, the sounds _he_ could make…

He gripped his cock, determined, aroused, horny as hell, and Luka’s face instantly appeared in his mind. He slowly moved his hand up and down, keeping his fist soft, easing into it. He licked his bottom lip, closed his eyes, thinking about the way Luka would nip his bottom lip, the skin on his neck, her hands digging into his shoulders, her thighs across his as she fucked herself on his fingers…

He felt a pulse throb through his cock, and sped up, his veins zipping with want, a need, to feel her again, to chase his release. He groaned, as it licked up his spine, through his chest, his breaths getting shallower as he felt the same build up he felt last night, when it was her fingers instead, her lips on his, overloading his senses until he…

With a stifled shout, his body tensed, shuddered, and his adrenaline dripped through his body as his come squirted over his hands, and his sheets, and he slowly stroked himself through, his head falling back onto his pillow.

He reveled in the feeling for a few seconds, noting how it was nowhere near as intense as he felt last night, and wiped his hands and his cock on his sheets. He needed to wash them anyway. 

Peter wondered when he would be able to see her again. He wasn’t even ashamed to say he wanted to see her right now, soon, tonight. He looked at his phone, laying on his drawers, black, silent, as if rubbing it in his face that he was alone.

He wanted to text her. But, he needed a shower first. And to change his sheets.

Chucking his sheets in the laundry basket, he headed to his bathroom. In the shower, he found his hands wandering again. He needed to wash his body twice. 

Finally slipping some boxers on, he hung his towel around his neck, using the ends to roughly dry his hair as he walked across his room, Mr Stark’s awesome technology pulling the blinds apart, revealing his massive window. Peter felt at peace, first time for a while, as he looked out his window across the compound grounds, until a couple of figures caught his eye. 

Walking along the edge of the paving, towards the pool, was a giant, brick like person, and trailing next to them, was a tiny looking one, although they may have looked tiny because of the severe size difference. Peter focused, and he realized who the two figures were. 

Mr Barnes and…Luka. 

His brain couldn’t compute it. 

They looked like they were laughing as they reached the edge of the pool, then they were facing each other. They must have been talking about something. Peter’s hands pressed against the glass, as he watched them start taking their clothes off. 

Anger spiked through his stomach, his brain, as he watched more and more items of clothing fell to the ground around them. Until Mr Barnes was in what looked like boxer shorts, and Luka was…Luka was in…

Peter swallowed, watching her run her fingers through her hair, twisting from side to side in a red bikini. They seemed to exchange a few more words, then Mr Barnes bent down, lifted Luka over his shoulders, and jumped into the pool. He could hear a faint squeal before the splash of the water.

He watched, his teeth gritted as the two of them resurface, in each other’s arms, before swimming apart. After they swam back together, Mr Barnes holding Luka in his arms and spinning her around, Peter turned away, angry as hell. 

His good mood had been shattered in mere seconds. He was stupid, idiotic, naïve to think that someone like Luka would be satisfied after she had to do everything to him, and she didn’t even finish. Luka was obviously suited to Mr Barnes. They had a thing when they first met, Peter would always see them together (before her lockdown, that is), there was no way he could compete with that. If you had Peter and Mr Barnes standing next to each other, no one on earth would pick Peter. He should have realized that a long time ago. Before he let her drill into the depths of his mind, giving him false hope that there could have actually been something.  
Peter eyed his phone, near his fist. He picked it up. He looked back up through the window, down at Luka and Mr Barnes now splashing each other. He should tell her it’s over first, no point being strung along. It’s not worth it. He might not be experienced in relationships, or sex, or women, but he definitely knew he was not worth being used as a toy.

He shakily texted a message to her, saying he hoped she was having fun with Barnes, his underlying message, he thought, pretty clear. He sent it, then stared at her through the window to see whether she would check her phone. Peter watched, his anger boiling higher and higher with every second that passed. Finally, her head turned to the pile of clothes by the side of the pool. Peter watched as she swam over to it, shaking her hands before rummaging through the fabric, then he saw her, looking at her phone. 

_Go on,_ he thought, _ignore me, leave me on read, just as I did to you, admit that you and Barnes are a better match than we would ever be._

He watched her tapping on the screen. His vision was good, but not good enough to see what she was typing. He waited, what felt like hours, until she put her phone down, and resumed her _frolicking_ with the supersoldier. 

He looked at his phone, biting his lip shakily as the seconds drew longer, becoming more and more convinced that she had, in fact, ignored him. 

His heart soared when his phone buzzed, lighting up with a new notification. His finger trembled as he pressed it, opening it up, closing his eyes briefly before reading her words. 

_L: You’re free to join me. No alarm outside, apparently._

Peter blinked. Then looked at the window. Luka and Mr Barnes were floating on their backs in the water. Apparently, the intention of his message wasn’t clear, but what was he supposed to do? Ignore her? Let Mr Barnes take what was clearly his rightful place at her side? Mr Stark sure favoured him over Peter at the minute. If he went down and joined them, what? Try and one-up the Winter Soldier?

He threw his phone on his bed, turning away from the window, his hands on his face, angrily growling into the silent air. Peter flopped on his bed, right next to his phone, and breathed in his mattress for a few seconds.  
No, this was ridiculous, he thought. He texted her to end it, he was bloody well going to end it. It would hurt less now than it would in two months, spending his nights with her in his arms, only to send her off to spend the days with _Bucky_.

Peter screwed his face up, a tear escaping from the corner of his eye and soaking into his bed. He sniffed, pushing himself up, and grabbed his phone. He needed to tell her, face to face. 

He opened a blank note on his phone, and started typing. 

A couple of hours later, the sun was beginning to set, streaks of orange and purple marbled together in the sky, and Peter nervously walked through the compound, along the grounds, towards the pool, his phone in a deathgrip between his fingers. He chewed the inside of his cheek, his eyes set dead ahead as he stalked along the path, the sounds of water splashing getting louder and louder. He could do this. Just read out what he wrote, then say goodbye, and walk back to his room. Then he just needed to forget about her…

He breathed in when he rounded the corner of the building, the pool in full sight, And then, she was also in sight. Swimming laps, her body stretching and sliding through the water, splashes littering the surface, he felt his footing stumble a little, but he kept on nevertheless. When he reached her pile of clothes, he noticed she was alone. 

No Mr Barnes. 

That was good. That was better. 

Peter waited, and watched, until her face broke through the surface, and he waved awkwardly. She ducked her head under the water once more, then smiled at him, floating in place. 

“You kept me waiting a long time, Peter, I’m shriveled up like a prune.” Luka giggled, wiggling her fingers as if to show her point. “You coming in?” 

“No, I…I just need to…” Come on Peter, say it, and get going. 

“I’ve been down here for _hours_ , don’t deny me an evening swim now!” She groaned, but he saw a smile on her lips. 

“I didn’t bring my trunks.” Peter shook his head. He needed to stand his ground. She narrowed her eyes at him, looking him up and down. 

“Move over here?” She swam a bit to the side, gesturing to the edge of the pool. Peter nodded and walked a few steps to his left, closer to where the tiles dropped off into the water. Then she smiled. Then she splashed him. 

Instinctively, he held his phone out of the way, but he wasn’t quick enough to stop the rest of his body getting splattered. He clenched his jaw, looking down at his now damp clothes, then glared at Luka, who innocently shrugged. 

“Now you’re wet anyway, so you might as well join me.” She mused, before moving onto her back and floating away from him. A swell of annoyance bubbled in his chest. He just wanted to say his piece, and here he was, pocketing his phone, kicking his shoes off, pulling his socks off his feet, sitting down at the edge, rolling his trousers up and dropped his feet in the pool. Following her instructions, like an idiot. 

“Luka.” He said, trying to be assertive, trying to get her to stop floating and listen. 

She just looked up and smiled, then swam slowly over to him. He watched, like a fool, as the water lapped around her body as she moved, then he felt her hands on his legs, his knees, his thighs, and he suddenly didn’t care that his trousers were getting more wet from her touch. His mind clouded over, and he had to force himself to remember why he was here. 

Ignore the girl in front of him, fingers gripping his thigh muscles, her stomach muscles leaning on the front of his legs, her face coming closer to his, her beautiful eyes looking at…

“Luka, I need to talk to you.” His voice sounded alien to him. It made Luka freeze. “Please.” He whispered, as though he was begging her to give him his own sanity. 

Luka lowered herself on his legs slightly, resting her elbows on his knees, kicking her legs softly in the pool to keep herself upright. She nodded, as if telling him to go on. Peter steeled his nerves, and got his phone out. 

“I thought you had to talk to me?” She asked, her head tilting slightly, and nodding at his phone. 

“Yeah…I-I do, I wrote it down.” Peter opened the file he had spent the evening typing, editing, perfecting. He cleared his throat, and started reading. “I wanted to talk to you, about us.” He took a breath, not daring to look her in the eyes, because he knew if he did, he’d lose his nerve. “Last night was…last night was amazing, and I’m really grateful -” A giggle snap his eyes up. 

“Sorry, Peter, but you don’t need to be _grateful_. It was fun.” She teased, one of her hands reaching up and smoothing out the material on his chest. “Maybe tonight we could…” She leaned up again, but Peter jerked his head back, making her stop her movements. Her smile fell. 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to keep doing this.” She frowned at him, and he looked back down at what he’d wrote. “Mr Stark has banned us from seeing each other, gone to extremes to keep us apart, and even though I enjoyed…” He felt his cheeks grow hot, and he felt the soft hand on his chest fall away. “I can’t give you what you need.”

“Peter what are you talking about?”

“Please, Luka.” He looked at her, water building in his eyes as he felt his emotions threatening to spill over. “Please just let me finish.” She nodded. “I’ve never done anything like this before, with anyone, and I’m…” he paused. “I really like you, but I’m not built to be a booty call.”

“Peter -”

“I see you at night, and we have a great time, then you leave, and then you spend your days with someone like Bucky, and I realise I can’t compete.” Peter hears her inhale sharply, but he continues, running with the adrenaline he suddenly felt. “You deserve someone who can give you what you deserve, and we both know for a fact that I’m not experienced enough to provide that. I’m making things awkward, and we are angering people by trying to fool ourselves. I think it’s best if we stop this now before…before I get in too deep, which I know is not something you are looking for.” Peter breathes. He knew his voice was shaking, but he was so close to the end. It was better this way. “I hope we can still be friends, because I think you’re an awesome person, and I’m sorry that I can’t be everything you want. I also hope that I haven’t ruined your relationship with Mr Stark, and that you can now pursue what you really want, without having to worry about me or my feelings.” 

Peter exhaled. He did it. He said it all. And his fingers were only mildly tremoring as he put his phone back in his pocket. He stared at his legs, not really sure what to do now. Luka was silent. 

He chanced a look at her. Her face was cold, angry, and she wasn’t looking in his eyes. After a few seconds, she slid her arms off of his knees. He saw her chest moving deeply with her breaths, and he fought with himself to not look at any other part of her. It was a horrible feeling, saying all that to someone he really, _really_ liked, but he knew it was true, and he knew if he didn’t say it, he would get caught in a cycle of running to her everytime she called, falling into bed, and then getting his heart broken when she left to spend time with…with the others. His nose felt tingly, so he awkwardly wiped it with the back of his hand, and he noticed his cheeks were also wet. He’d been crying the whole time, and didn’t even noticed. 

She finally looked up at his eyes. The emotion was raging behind them, and he felt scared at what she was going to do next. Then she swam next to him, and pulled herself out of the pool, reaching for her clothes and holding them in her arms.

“Luka?” He scrambled to his feet, and she just looked him up and down. 

“You think I’m with Barnes because you’ve never had sex?” She asked, the malice dripping off each word. Peter’s mouth bobbed open and shut, and he finally settled on hanging his head down. 

“It would make sense.” She scoffed at his answer and started walking away from him. 

“You’re unbelievable.”

“That’s just one thing!” Peter shouted, running after her. She didn’t stop. “Mr Stark has literally alarmed the compound to keep us apart!”

“Right.” She rounded on him, her anger evident. “Not even worth trying, is it?” Peter didn’t reply. “Goodbye, Peter.” 

Peter watched her walk away from him. He was rooted to the spot. He did the right thing, hadn’t he? He wasn’t the type of person to do the casual, friends with benefits thing. He was all in, or nothing, and he wanted to be all in with Luka, but it was obvious that she didn’t, and it was obvious Mr Stark didn’t want her to be involved with anyone. It hurt, he couldn’t lie, but it would have hurt more the longer he let this go on, so he definitely made the best choice, right?

Peter spent a few days in his room, not leaving for anything other than meetings and training. He barely spoke to the team, he couldn’t bring himself to. How could he have a nice conversation when he felt so empty and so low, like his soul had been painted black, and everything around him had been tainted grey? Everything seemed pointless, so he engaged in pointless activities – staring at his ceiling, a tear escaping every now and then, thinking harder and harder about every single memory he managed to salvage about her. 

His body ached. He assumed he trained too hard, but honestly, he couldn’t exactly remember small details like that. It was like his body was on autopilot, flying through the darkest, gloomiest forest, with no light coming through the trees. 

Four quick, loud knocks shook his door, and shook his out of his spiraling thoughts. He turned to look at it. 

“What?” He shouted, his voice cracking from not using it for days. 

Another four knocks, louder this time, like someone was _really_ banging on it. Peter groaned as he forced himself to sit up, huffing out the extra air in his lungs. He slid off the bed, his body feeling like jelly, sore and weak, and he shuffled across his room, sighing before turning the handle and opening the door to see who was intruding his precious wallowing time. 

Fear spiked through his spine, straightening his posture immediately, as two thick arms rested either side of his doorframe, dark hair framing a face of thunder, as Peter met steely blue eyes that looked like they were about to murder him. 

“Parker. What the fuck are you doing?” 

Peter gulped.

“M-Mr…Mr B-Barnes, I-I -” Bucky stood up, taking his hands off the wood, and Peter was suddenly very aware of the fact that Mr Barnes was about twice as tall, and twice as wide as him. 

“Answer my question. What the fuck are you doing, and what the fuck did you say to Luka?”


	11. When I Get Home, You're So Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a sads chapter, I'm sorry, but it's super necessary I promise!

Bucky stands dead still as he stares at Peter, whose mouth is blubbering open and shut like a fish out of water. Peter’s body was being crumbled by shoots of anxiety ripping through his veins, his fingers going numb from gripping the door handle so hard. His brain was short-circuiting. What the hell was he supposed to say? What was Bucky going to do to him? 

Bucky steps forward suddenly and Peter yelped and jumped back. Bucky didn’t stop walking, a look of murder on his face, as he forced Peter further into the room until his legs hit the bed and he ungracefully fell down onto it.

“Don’t make me repeat myself, Parker.” 

Peter swallowed, painfully, seeing as his mouth had apparently sucked out all moisture. He tried to speak.

“M-Mr Barnes, I…I…” His voice came out broken and hoarse, when suddenly Bucky’s hand gripped the front of his T shirt, and Bucky’s face leaned in closer to his own.

“What. Did. You. Do.” Bucky punched out each word, each syllable, and Peter felt his entire body go cold. This was definitely how he was going to die.

“I-I’m sorry, sir I-“ A thump came from next to him. Bucky had punched the bed, and despite the soft mattress, the action rippled through and Peter felt his body sway from the impact.

“Don’t call me sir. Just answer the god damn question.” Bucky’s teeth were gritted, and Peter noticed a pinkish flush on his neck. If Bucky was a mortal human, he would definitely be bright red from the anger. 

“Sorry, I…” Peter paused, trying to muddle through his adrenaline fired brain to come up with a coherent sentence. Bucky growled and tightened his grip on his shirt. “I told her we were finished.” Peter squeaked out, screwing his eyes shut, waiting for the inevitable punch he so rightly deserved.  
But Bucky’s grip loosened, then Peter couldn’t feel his hand at all.

Peter opened his eyes, and lowered his hands (which had apparently come up in a feeble attempt to defend his face). Bucky was standing tall in front of him, his arms folded over his chest. 

“Why?” Bucky asked, his voice still laced with anger. 

“What do you mean why?”

“I mean, why, Parker. After I helped you get with her in the first place, I come to find not even a _week_ later that you fucked her off?!” His arms had dropped, and his voice grew louder as he spoke. “What, is she suddenly not good enough? Not what you expected? You spent all this time falling over her to fucking throw it away?!”

Peter stood up then, the fear in his body replaced with fury. 

“Me? ME throw it away? There was no fucking hope! Everytime I got anywhere with her I turned around and there **YOU** were!”

Bucky looked at him like he was crazy, but now Peter was fired up, so he kept going. 

“I’m obviously a plaything, a project, stupid little Peter who doesn’t know what he’s doing, why the _**fuck**_ would I be first choice when she’s clearly more into you!”

Bucky stepped back, as if Peter had slapped him. He ran his hand over his face, blinking. Breathing.

“You….you ended things because you think she’s with _me_?” Bucky asked, his voice a bit softer, a stark contrast to the enraged shouting that had just come from Peter.

“I don’t think.” Peter stepped into Bucky’s space, pointing a (shaky) finger at his large chest. “I saw it. Every damn day I saw you and her _galavanting_ around the compound. At first I thought fine, you’re friends, whatever. But it was **every** day, and your hands are on each other WAY too much, at movie nights, in the pool. And I realised, I must be the side piece.” Peter held his arms wide. “Who would choose me over you?” 

“You don’t know what you’re saying.” Bucky growled. Peter saw Bucky’s fists clench, but it was like word vomit now; he couldn’t stop. Maybe it was because he’d barely spoken to anyone in days, maybe it was because he was so fucking heartbroken that he had to say it outloud before he imploded on himself, maybe he just realised that Bucky wouldn’t _actually_ hurt him…

“I do, I know exactly what I’m saying. She had to hide me, Mr Stark clearly doesn’t like me, she had to teach me how to do simple things in bed. You? You had the Luka handbook, Mr Stark lets you do whatever all the time, she is literally always with you. She’s happy with you, I watched you in the pool from my fucking window, and I’ve never made her laugh like that, I can never give her those little memories, I can’t measure up to what you and her have, so why should I even bother?” Peter flopped back onto the bed, his head going in his hands, and he felt wet on his fingers – he had been crying. 

“She’s fucking nuts about you, Parker. We’ve both told you there’s fuck all between us. You think she’d sneak through Stark’s freaking restrictions if she didn’t care about you?”

“I think she felt obligated.” Peter looked up at the soldier, ignoring the soft, pleading look in his eyes. It was all an act, he was sure. “She knew I had feelings for her, she tried to give me what I wanted.”

“It’s what she wanted as well!”

“She needs more. She deserves the fucking world!” Peter was back to yelling. “She deserves more than me! She deserves you.” 

The last sentence silenced both of them. Peter hadn’t faced that particular thought of his, not properly, until now. Now it had been said, it was out there, and it was damn true. Bucky was older, more experienced, hadn’t been banned from seeing her, made her happy, cuddled her on the sofa, talked to her all the time, had a relationship with Luka that Peter knew he could never match. 

Yes, it was the underlying reason that Peter ended things with Luka, but he made her think it was because Bucky could give her more than he could, rather than her _deserving_ more than he could give her. Because, when he thought about it, in the hours leading up to their final conversation, he realised that what he had to offer as Peter Parker didn’t amount to much. Bucky was stronger, more skilled, he could protect her, he had more experience in the bedroom, he was confident, sure of himself, he could speak to Luka without stumbling over his words, and the list went on. All that Peter had was a useless, inexperienced body, a brain riddled with nerves, and no clue how to make a woman happy. 

“It’s better this way.” Peter mumbled after a few, painfully silent moments. Bucky just scoffed at him.

“You’re a fucking idiot if you truly believe that. This whole theory is based off what, seeing me and her in the pool?”

“No, I told you, it’s everything, all the time, it’s-“

“It’s your insecurities, and it was a fucking mistake.” Bucky interjected, turning to head to the door. “I hope you realise sooner rather than later what an idiot you’ve been, Parker. And you better pray she’ll give you another chance when that happens, cos at the minute she’s fucking pissed at you.” 

Bucky didn’t give him a chance to respond, he just stormed out of his room, slamming the door behind him so hard that the room vibrated. 

Peter yelled, into the empty room, trying to expel some of the bubbling anger. It didn’t work. So he stomped over to his bedside table, ripping the lamp out of the wall, and threw it at the door. Shattering loudly, the glass exploded into a million little pieces, pinging across the carpet. 

He panted, staring at the destruction.

He ached. He physically ached. He was sure it was from the fact this was the most he’d said in days, and he felt more emotion in the last ten minutes than he had since he woke up that fateful morning. 

Yet, a different part of his brain was firing another thought through.

_You ache because you’re heartbroken._

Bucky never denied it. He said ‘we told you there was nothing was between us’, but he didn’t say that nothing had happened. Peter was sure that something had happened. You don’t get that close, that intimate a relationship unless you’d done..done…

Peter ran over to his bin, falling to his knees, and threw up. It was painful, given he hadn’t eaten much today, and it burned his throat. 

It felt as though he was throwing up for hours, but he knew it would have only ben a couple minutes at most. Either way, it took the last bit of energy he had left, and he slumped on to the floor, his eyes fluttering shut.

Peter woke up, on the floor, his arms loosely around the bin. When he inhaled, there was an absence of a certain smell that he was anticipating. He slowly picked himself up to peer into the bin. 

It was empty. Had he imagined throwing up? It felt so real… He looked around, and notice his bed was also neatly made, and the glass from his lamp was gone.

“FRIDAY?” He croaked out. His throat was sore, acidy, so something definitely came up last night.

“Yes, Mr Parker?” Came the cool, robotic voice.

“Did…” He cleared his throat, wincing as pain spiked through him. “Did someone come and clean my room?”

“Yes, Mr Rogers. He came to your room because you had missed training, and he and Mr Wilson cleared the mess. I believe they were going to return this evening.”

“Missed…” Peter frowned. “What time is it?”

“It’s twenty past one in the afternoon, Mr Parker.” 

Peter rubbed his eyes. Bucky came into his room sometime after dinner, which meant that he had been asleep for almost 18 hours. Jesus Christ. 

Well, first things first, he needed to shower. And brush his teeth. He stood up, groaning through the aches and twinges trying to limit his movements, and trudged to the bathroom. He peeled his disgusting, sweaty clothes off, and turned the water on, not even wanting to look at his reflection right now. He stood under the running water, turning up the temperature, as though the scalding water would burn away everything he was feeling. 

He needed a plan. He needed to eat. He also needed to thank Mr Rogers and Mr Wilson.

But he _wanted_ to see Luka. 

He wanted to see how she was doing. Was she really pissed off like Bucky said? Was she sad? Was she heartbroken like he was? Or was she bouncing around, relieved that he had freed her from this façade of a relationship? Was she already cozying back up to Bucky? 

His hands rested on the tile wall, his head hung down, the boiling water rushing over him and splashing on the floor. He felt like he had lost a war, but he was still being dragged back across the enemy line. He told Luka it was over, and here he was, completely consumed by the thought of her. 

As he screwed his eyes shut, his mind automatically went back to how beautiful she always looked while she waited for him to finish stumbling over his sentences, the way her eyes seemed to shimmer, her lips curling at the edges, then he thought about the way her body moved when she was on top of him, the way her lips felt on his mouth, his neck…

Then he remembered Bucky’s arms holding her body close in the pool. Anger stabbed at his heart. His fist connected with the tile, cracking it down the middle.

He sighed as he stared at it. This was how it had been for days. A nice memory, one that made his body want to run down and sweep her back into his arms, then an image of her and Bucky, that made him want to claw his face off and break everything around him. And after Bucky’s visit yesterday, he felt like it was just going to carry on like this for a while. 

Peter turned the water off, and stepped out, grabbing his towel and drying himself. He still avoided the mirror. He didn’t need to see how crappy he knew he looked. As he made his way to his bedroom to get dressed, he thought about what he actually needed to do. 

Once his clothes were on, he sent a quick text to Mr America, thanking him for cleaning things up, and apologising (he actually put the words ‘I’m sorry’ at least four times. Then he felt like he should get something to eat, even though his stomach wasn’t grumbling. He knew the numbness of his emotions had wiped out his appetite, but he was very aware that it had been almost a day where he hadn’t had any food. 

So he left his room to head to the kitchen, intending to make himself a meal. 

So why did he end up in the elevator pressing the button that would take him down to the lab?

The doors pinged open before he could really process what he was doing, and why he wasn’t facing the corridor that took him to the kitchen. His body took control of his numb mind, and his feet plodded along the hallway. He was halfway down when he suddenly stopped.

Where was the alarm? He only just realised that it was completely silent. Odd.

He turned the corner, his heart thumping with…was it fear? He wasn’t sure what to expect, what he was going to see. He wasn’t even sure what he was doing here…

He was just about to take his first step down the stairs when he noticed a figure standing at the bottom, making him freeze.

“Mr Parker.”

“Mr..Mr Stark.” Peter returned. Tony rubbed his hand over his beard, looking to the side, the lab, briefly before looking back at the boy. 

“What are you doing here?”

“I…” What _was_ he doing here? He cleared his throat and looked at his feet. “I just wanted to…check, on … Luka.” 

He heard Tony’s teeth grind. 

“She’s fine.” Peter nodded. “I heard you want nothing to do with her.” Peter’s eyes bugged out of his head at Tony’s comment. “Come on Parker, you think I don’t know what happens in my own compound?” 

“I…I’m sorry sir, for…for trying to…”

“What, trying to date her behind my back after I told you she’s off limits and set an alarm on this floor? Yeah, you should be.” Mr Stark’s voice was stern, but there was an underlying tone that made Peter think that he wasn’t super angry at him. He may have imagined it, but he clung to the idea so he could feel the tiniest bit better. 

“We aren’t dating anymore.” Peter mumbled.

“I’m aware. Hence why I lifted the alarms. I trust this means you won’t be disrespecting me again?” Tony queried, one of his eyebrows lifting suspiciously. 

“No, sir.” Peter assured him, shaking his head profusely. 

“Well, if you wanted to see how she’s doing, you are now free to, as long as that’s all it is.” Tony gestured to his side, towards the lab, and Peter slowly came down the stairs, eyeing him, making sure this wasn’t a trick. 

But Peter reached the bottom, coming face to face with his old mentor, who just regarded him, boredly. Then Tony seemed to nod, only slightly, a movement that most other people would have missed, but not Peter, not with his heightened senses, and his hypervigilant nerves. 

Peter sidestepped Tony, breathing deeply as he headed to the entrance of the lab.

His shoes squeaked to a stop when he realised the scene in front of him. 

Luka was on the other side of the glass, sitting on her swivelly chair, and who was sitting in front of her? None other than Bucky Barnes. 

Peter’s throat throbbed with the threat of anger, but he tried to stomp it down. This was fine. This is what he expected. As soon as Peter ended it, why wouldn’t she be with him? 

Bile rose to his throat as he watched Bucky’s hand reach up to her face, his fingers brushing her hair away from her eyes, his gaze trained on her. He saw her shoulders rise and fall, as though she took a deep breath. Peter watched their mouths moving, they were talking, but the lab walls barricaded their words from reaching his ears. He tried reading their lips, but it wasn’t making sense to him. 

Then Bucky’s arm slid around her waist, he pulled her into him, hugging her to his chest, and he _kissed the top of her head_.

Yeah, right, Peter scoffed, shaking his head, nothing between them, what a fucking lie. Just as Peter grit his teeth, feeling tears prickle at his eyes, Bucky looked at him through the glass. 

Then Bucky just raised an eyebrow. And **fucking winked**.

Peter span on his heel, pushing past Tony, and raced up the stairs, his sobs escaping unwillingly from his mouth, as he ran back to his room.


	12. Won't You Give Me a Chance?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Realised there's not many chapters left, so sad D:
> 
> *************************************************

The next two hundred and twenty-three hours (and forty seven minutes) dragged by in a blurred haze of numbness, intermittently sprinkled with moments of conversation with Mr Rogers, underlined by a metaphorical black cloud that rumbled any time Peter saw them. 

Because apparently, they were around a lot. 

Peter hadn’t made it a habit of leaving his room lately. The only regular thing he engaged with was training once a day, and that was only because his body itched if he stayed still too long. He had asked Mr Stark to stop all his missions, choosing instead to sulk, and mope, and flob in his room. Anytime he left his room, he regretted it. 

They would be there. Sitting, standing, lying on the couch, it didn’t matter really. The fact was that everytime Peter went somewhere that wasn’t his room or the gym, Luka was there with Bucky’s arm over her.

It made him sick at first, the sight of someone else with the person he lo-the person he cared about. The sight of her with someone who he thought was a friend. Kind of. After a while though, Peter just got fed up. Fed up of wanting to hit something, fed up of wanting to hit Bucky, fed up of wanting to shout and yell. Over the days, that slowly morphed into the lifeless slump he was now in. Whenever he saw them, he just felt sad, and left. He trained as best as he could muster, but really? At the minute, a mortal man could beat him in a fight. 

He was going through the motions, his days monotonous; wake up, food, train, food, tv, food, train, bed. His meals were tasteless, everything he looked at was devoid of the colour and sparkle that they used to hold when she was around. 

He had no one to blame but himself. He knew that. He knew it was entirely his fault. He made his reasons, that Luka and Bucky were already better together, that if it went on any longer with her spending evenings with Peter, days with Bucky, it would have hurt more when she inevitably chose Bucky. He was sure that’s what would have happened. 

But it really fucking hurt right now. He didn’t think his body or his brain could ever hurt this much again. He constantly thought about her, the memories of their (brief) time together, rolling around in bed, the endless texts, kissing her in the lab, her hands on Bucky’s face, Bucky’s arm around her.

His eyes hurt when he blinked. His limbs hurt when he moved. His lungs hurt when he breathed. 

He severely regretted his decision. He really did. He was also angry, but he wasn’t sure what he was angry at. Bucky? Luka? Himself? All three?

Even if he regretted his choice, there wasn’t much he could do now. Bucky had clearly staked his claim, obvious by the fact that they were always together. Correcting his mistake would involve confronting Bucky, which he was no physically equipped to do right now, and it would also involve confronting Luka, and, well…he wasn’t sure what he would even say to her. 

Sorry felt futile. Begging seemed desperate. Saying it didn’t matter was a lie. He could never lie to her. 

Peter trudged to the mini kitchen in his room, not particularly hungry but very aware that it’d been a while since he’d eaten, and weakly pulled the fridge door. He was greeted by a lonely carrot, and a miserable portion of cheese. Great. 

“Friday,” he whispered, rubbing his tired eyes. 

“Yes, Peter?” They replied. 

“When is the food delivery due?”

“It came this morning, and has been unpacked in the communal lounge.” 

He groaned and bumped his forehead against the fridge door. He’d have to go and get some supplies. 

“Is there anyone there?” He asked, praying and hoping that-

“Everyone is out of the compound. They left a couple hours ago for an incident.” FRIDAY replied. 

His ears prickled at the information, and his heart sunk as he remembered he asked not to go on missions. One day he would go back, but not yet. Not this soon. 

He closed the door to the fridge with a soft _’thump’_ and plodded across his room, slowly turning the lock that he’d begun to always keep on, and carefully opened the door. He peeked out, looking up and down the hallway. Yes, he knew FRIDAY said no one was in, but you could never be too careful. Seeing another person meant talking to them, and he was not physically or emotionally ready to be in the vicinity of another human right now. 

He slunk down the hallway, trying his best to listen out for any unusual sounds, but even his spidey sense had taken a hit lately, and all he could hear was his own breathing. 

He finally reached the doorway to the communal bit, and he quickly looked round to check he was alone. Good. 

He approached the cupboards, opening them and grabbing things to sustain him for another few days. Couple packs of biscuits, pot noodles, a bag of cookies, a bunch of bananas. He shoved them all into a bag from the drawer, then moved to the fridge. Yoghurts, fruit juice, eggs. That’ll do, he thought, it wasn’t like he was using loads of energy at the minute. Shoving his goods into the bag, he also grabbed an apple, biting a chunk out as he made to leave. Snacks for the road, eh?

He turned round, starting to walk back to his room, and halted when he saw a figure in the doorway. He almost choked on his apple as he watched Luka, leaning on the doorframe, her arms folded over her chest, looking down at the fingernails on her right hand, her hair tied loosely up in a bun on top of her head. She was wearing black tracksuit bottoms, a loose purple t-shirt, and was barefoot. 

She looked fucking beautiful.

“I wondered when I would bump into you.” She said, sounding somewhat bored, not looking at him, but focusing still on her nails.

His brain had short-circuited. He had no idea what to say. No idea what to do. He swallowed his apple, which was painful, as he hadn’t chewed it enough. His mouth wouldn’t open to speak, like he was paralysed and rooted to the spot. 

“Bucky said he tried to talk to you.” She continued, and that made his chest lurch horridly. “That you yelled at him until he left.” She looked up at him, waiting for him to respond. Of course, he didn’t. She sighed. “Stark said you asked him to demote you.” 

Peter shrugged, his fingers adjusting over the handles of the bag and his apple, the difference in textures bringing some semblance of feeling to his fingertips. 

“What I don’t understand,” She said, pushing herself off the doorframe. “Is why you would be the one moping, when it was _you_ that broke up with _me_.” 

Peter looked at the floor, his eyes burning as he felt tears coming to the surface. 

“Well? Peter?” Luka said, drawing his gaze back up to her. 

“I…Just because I … we…” He screwed his eyes shut, frustrated that his words weren’t coming, and the few that were, were being said with a croaky, unused voice. “Yes, I…I ended this. But..that...that doesn’t mean I…I’m okay with it.” He felt out of breath once he’d said it all, like it had taken immense effort. 

“Why end it if you’re not okay with it?” Her question was quiet, but Peter knew there was anger behind the words. Peter shrugged. “Don’t bullshit me.” She sighed, pinching her nose then rubbing her forehead. “I just want to know why.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?” She sounded fed up.

“I mean, why? What’s the point?” Peter accused, suddenly finding he had enough energy to be angry. “It’s done, finished, you’ve moved on.”

“I’ve moved on? Really?” Peter didn’t respond to her. “You know he told me what you said.” 

“Of course he did.” Peter scoffed. 

“Did you seriously believe that I was splitting my time between the two of you?” She asked, and Peter saw her expression was a little hurt. He wanted to tell her no, of course he didn’t think that, sweep her up in his arms and kiss her stupid until she laughed her beautiful laugh. 

But he did think that. He did think that she was publicly with Bucky, privately with Peter. Like a secret project that was fun to her. As much as he wanted to be with her, he had to stick to knowing he was worth more than that. 

“I…” Peter scuffed his feet against the floor. 

“Do you really think that little of me, that I would do that?” Luka asked, the emotion clear; she was upset.

Peter avoided her eyes, not trusting himself to not cry. Looking up at the ceiling, Peter heard her sigh, then he heard rustling, and the scraping of wood. He looked at her. She was pulling out a chair from the table, sat down on it, and gestured to the other chair. 

“What…what are you doing?” Peter stuttered out. 

“This is ridiculous. So we are going to sort it out.” She said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Peter processed what she was saying, but he didn’t move. 

“You had a whole speech prepared for when you dumped me. Now you got nothing?” She teased. Peter just shook his head. “I would like to know the reasons why I’m being accused of whoring around.”

“I never said that.” Peter said, his teeth clenched.

“Not to me, no. But you did to Bucky. He said that you told him you were my side piece.”

“Well if he has all the answers why are you here?” Peter snapped, making her eyes widen at the suddenness.

“I’m asking you, not him.” She finally responded, folding her arms over her chest. “Are you going to sit down or not?”

Peter looked at the chair, then back at her. 

“No.” He said. 

“You came up with a wild theory to dump me, and you don’t even want to hear my side, see if it’s true?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Peter started walking to the door.

“Remember when I called you a puppy?” Her question was soft, unaccusatory. Peter stopped walking, staring at the doorway he hadn’t yet approached, breathing as the memory flooded his mind. 

“Luka…” He sighed as he closed his eyes. He didn’t want to be reminded of how inferior she perceived him to be, nor what happened following that…

“I said you were inexperienced, innocent, naïve. But I didn’t realise you were a coward as well.”

His nostrils flared with his breath, and he span round, the bag falling from his hands and he stomped towards her, pointing a finger at her stupidly perfect face. 

“I am NOT a coward!” He shouted, but she just annoyingly raised an eyebrow, letting him approach her. 

“Really? Hiding in your room? Not talking to me? Seems pretty cowardly.” She stood, facing him, watching his face heat up the more she spoke. 

“What am I supposed to do?!”

“Fucking talk to me! Ask me what’s going on! Do what you WANT to do rather than what you think is better for everyone else!” She yelled back, jabbing her finger into his chest.

“Well I can’t do what I want!”

“Why not?!”

That shut him up. He closed his mouth. He couldn’t admit what he wanted to do. He hadn’t let himself think of what he wanted to do to Luka, for Luka, for himself. 

The tears were threatening to return to his eyes, so he shook his head and turned away, sniffing as subtly as he could to stop it. He picked up his bag of food, and left the room, left her in the kitchen.

He made it to his room, dumping his bag on the counter, before leaning on it and breathing deeply. He wanted to talk to her, he really did, but he didn’t want her to confirm what he’d been thinking all along. He didn’t want another opportunity where he looked like an idiot. He wanted to grab her and kiss her and hold her, not hear about Bucky, or think about them together. 

He heard footsteps. He looked over his shoulder. 

“What are you doing here?” He snarled at Luka, who was just staring at him from the doorway. “Come to shout at me some more?”

“I told you, this is ridiculous and I want to sort it.” He turned to watch her walk over to his sofa and sitting down, staring at him pointedly 

“There’s nothing to sort. Everything’s as it should be.”

“I’m staying here until you _actually_ talk to me.” 

“Gonna be waiting a long time.” He shrugged. She just shrugged back.

Minutes of silence stretched between them as Peter unloaded his food from the bag and put it in his cupboard, then moved to the bed and sat on the edge. Luka never moved from the sofa, but she kept her gaze on him the whole time. Now, now it was pissing Peter off. 

“Can you please leave me alone?” Peter huffed after seven and a half agonising minutes. 

“Nope.” She said, popping the ‘p’ at the end. Peter groaned. “I told you, Parker. I’m not leaving until you talk to me.” 

Peter swung his legs off the bed, standing up and walking across the room. Luka perked up and scrambled off the sofa when she realised he was heading to the door. 

She managed to slip in front of him, just, sandwich-ing herself between him, and the door he was reaching for. 

“Peter, stop.” She huffed. Instead of the doorhandle, he thuds his fist on the wood, screwing his eyes shut. She reached up, sliding her hands along his shoulder, to his neck, before he was grabbing her wrists and pulling her hands off him. 

“Luka, please go.” His voice was cracked, broken, wounded. Like her being there was hurting him, which it was, metaphorically. Every second she was near him was another chip at his resolve to let Bucky have her. He’d made the decision, but he was fully aware that he was not over her. 

Luka shook her head, letting his grip her wrists. 

“I’m not talking to you.” He muttered, leaning forward until his forehead bumped against hers. His eyes closed, and he inhaled, noting how she good she smelled, and suddenly wishing he had enough strength to push her away.

“Okay.” She whispered, and he leant back when her head moved slightly. “Let’s not talk then.” He opened his eyes just as Luka leant up, pressing her lips to his in a light, barely there kiss. 

Peter’s breath shuddered out of his mouth, but he didn’t back away. She eased one of her wrists out of his grasp, and he didn’t protest, so she reached her fingers up to his neck, winding round the back and pulling his head back down to her. She kissed him again, more purposefully this time, and arched her back so her body pressed against him. 

Then suddenly, something snapped inside Peter. Like a rubber band finally pinging, breaking in two, like a crack in a dam finally giving way to the water flooding and crashing through. Their mouths still attached, he stepped forward, pushing her against the door, his hand letting go of her wrist and wrapping instead around her back, tugging her closer. 

His insecurities melted away the more her tongue battled with his. His doubts dissipated with each heavy breath. His need for her built with every tug and squeeze of her skin under his fingertips. 

Her mouth kissed along his jaw, shooting through his dark and curling around like a bundle of electricity, and she moved do his jaw. He dropped his head forward, leaning against the door, as her teeth and her tongue teased his skin. 

“Fuck Luka, I’ve missed you.” He breathed, not fully aware that he’d said it, but a beautiful girl kissing you will make anyone’s brain turn to mush. She just shushed him, bringing her mouth back up to his, and walking forwards, urging him back. Peter stumbled a couple times, then fell back when the bed hit his legs. He bounced on the mattress, their lips still locked as Luka starting climbing over him.

He got distracted when he felt her fingers run through his hair, feeling her nails drag across his scalp. He wanted to groan at the sensation, but held it back. He needed to be confident, and sure of himself, he needed to-

She moved again on the bed, until she was straddling his lap. Peter breathed in, their mouths still attached, kissing each other slow but purposefully. His chest was filling up with a warm, tight feeling as he felt her body press up against his chest, her hips moving subtly until she pressed up against his cock. Her fingers touched his stomach, and he was vaguely aware that she was trying to pull his top up, so he grabbed it and practically tore it over his head, breaking apart for a split second so he could throw it to the floor. She moved her other arm up to his neck as they kissed again, and opened their mouths, their tongues sliding together instantly.

He slid his hands down her waist, over her ass, her beautiful, amazing, squishy ass, and he dug his fingers into the flesh, making her roll her hips against him again. He moaned into her mouth, and felt her lips stretch into a smile. 

Then she grabbed his hands, pulled them off her, and leant back, their mouths separating with a smack. 

“Wha-Luka, what-“He stammered, trying to follow her, but she just pushed his chest, stopping him. 

“Stay there.” She said, a twinkle in her eye, but no smile on her face anymore, as she stepped off him and off the bed. Peter watched, helplessly, yet obediently, as she went over to his closet, opened the doors, and rummaged through, until he heard her pop her tongue and straighten up, turning back round to face him. 

“Wh-what’s that…” Peter asked, his mouth dry, watching her winding something around her hands as she slowly sauntered back to him. 

“Lay back.” She ordered, tilting her head to the bed. 

Peter’s not sure why he did what she said, but before he knew it, he was lying back on the bed, his head on his pillows, and she was taking his hand and placing it above his head, then doing the same with the other one. Peter swallowed thickly, not saying anything, but watching her intently. She wrapped what looked like one of his ties around both his wrists, then around the headboard. Luka locked eyes with him as she tugged the final knot tight. Then she swung her leg over his waist, grabbed another tie that she had dropped on the bed, pulling it out straight, then leant forward and placed it over his mouth.

“Lift your head.” She whispered, kissing his nose and making him frown as the tie settled between his teeth, but he lifted his head regardless. She lay the tie around his head and tied a knot at the back, then she sat up, splaying a hand on his chest. 

Peter grunted, words not possible with this gag in his mouth. Luka raised an eyebrow and smiled teasingly down at him. 

“Here’s what’s going to happen, Parker.” She said, her voice soft, innocent, like she hadn’t just _tied him to the fucking bed_. Her finger trailed down the lines of his chest, painfully slowly. “You are going to lie there, and listen to every single thing I have to say, and you are not going to touch me until I finish.” 

Peter groaned and tugged his hands against the ties, but they didn’t give way. He didn’t want to talk about this. He didn’t want to listen about it. He wanted his hands and his mouth on Luka, and hers on him. 

She suddenly lay down on top of him, one hand resting on the bed next to his head, the other skimming down the side of his torso. Her mouth moved to his ear, and she whispered,

“If you’re a good boy, Peter, you can have me as a reward.”


End file.
